DoubleBack – This Week in TFP – 9/5/11 – 9/11/11

Did you read every last word I wrote this past week?

What?   You didn’t?

That’s hurtful, goddammit!

I bet you didn’t miss Top Chef!   Seriously, is that good?   What is it, a bunch of cooks hanging around with their Ginzus?   No offense, but watching people cook doesn’t interest me when I’m IN a restaurant.

If the maître d’ came over during dinner and offered to let me watch the chef prepare my meal, I am 100% certain I would tell him that I’d rather stare at my date’s cleavage.   “Ooh, now he’s doing the garnish!”   Who cares?

Stuff you missed…

• Santa Fe With Mom – In Photos – Part I – Some visual nonsense from my mother and I on our trip to Santa Fe.
• Santa Fe With Mom – In Photos – Part II – Would you believe even MORE visual nonsense from our Santa Fe trip?
• I Fell In Love With a Girl Who Had Already Seen Me Naked And Then Rejected Me – Ever been rejected by a girl you really like?   Ever been rejected by a girl who had seen your testicles before you knew she had seen your testicles?
• Sunday, I’m On TV! (For Five Minutes On NBC If You Live In Chicago) – D.J. on television talking about divorce and finding love again (not that I’ve found love).
• I’m at My Fattest and Unfunniest – A Confession – Well, if you’d like to not laugh and get dangerously close to wanting to slit your own wrists, read on!   Not one good dick joke in the whole article!