Mindfulness for Stress Relief – Band Back Together BlogAThon

By Toby Neal, LCSW, Therapist by day, crimewriter by night

Life has terrible moments—the day you get fired. Submitting to the drill for a root canal.  The kitten backed over in the driveway, the bad news in the doctor’s office.

We live in anticipation of those moments, planning and trying to avert them, imagining how to handle them .  All the while, we are inadvertently stressing our bodies and minds. We self medicate our feelings of overwhelm with substances and food as we keep struggling to live The American Dream—an overscheduled, competitive routine of dashing from here to there, pushing our children along with us, always hoping to earn enough to reap the rewards of our labor and get a rest from it all.

Many of us are rushing ourselves right into an early grave or a mental health breakdown. Anxiety and depression are rampant these days, currently affecting 18% of adult Americans, according to the ADAA. (Anxiety and Depression Association of America, a research and advocacy institution.)

What if you could rest WHILE you did your hectic routine?

What if you could have a spa day, every day?

What if you could take a mini-vacation in your car?

And, it didn’t cost a dime?

Mindfulness might be the answer for you.

Mindfulness is  trendy in mental health these days, for good reason. A short definition from About.com:

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that essentially involves focusing on your mind on the present. To be mindful is to be aware of your thoughts and actions in the present, without judging yourself. Research suggests that mindfulness meditation may improve mood, decrease stress, and boost immune function.

Those are my feet you see above. This is my reminder spot, a place to stand, to be and to know. Because right here, right now, things are rarely that terrible. That is the gift of mindfulness, rooted in the eastern meditation tradition. Mindfulness is  a way of managing stress and creating what we in the psych business call “distress tolerance” (formerly known as suffering.)

If you want to try it, here are some steps:

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. Sit in a chair or on the floor with your head, neck and back straight but not stiff.

2. Try to put aside all thoughts of the past and the future and stay in the present.

3. Become aware of your breathing, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body as you breathe. Feel your belly rise and fall, the air enter your nostrils and leave your mouth. Pay attention to the way each breath changes and is different.

4. Watch every thought come and go. When thoughts come up in your mind, don’t ignore or suppress them but simply note them, remain calm and use your breathing as an anchor.

Notice feelings, whether it be a worry, fear, happiness or hope.  Notice feelings, but don’t engage with them.

5. If you find yourself getting carried away in your thoughts, observe where your mind went off to, without judging, and simply return to your breathing. Remember not to be hard on yourself if this happens.

6. As the time comes to a close, sit for a minute or two, becoming aware of where you are. Get up gradually.

Practicing mindfulness throughout your day will lower your blood pressure, calm your nervous system, and provide more lasting stress management than any spa without costing a cent. Learning to acceptingly observe your thoughts and feelings without engaging with them will give you greater resiliency to handle the most hectic (or horrible) moments life can throw at you. Because they are all just moments, and in the end they are all we have. Be fully present for a few of yours.

Toby Neal writes the bestselling Lei Crime Series and blogs at www.tobyneal.net