One of the most difficult transitions I’ve made since the divorce is the realization that I had been using my wife as a notepad for the past five years.
When I hit junior high, I knew I had a to-do list problem. I simply didn’t keep one. That’s the age where I needed to start writing things down and planning appropriately. As a verified ADDer my memory sucks. I don’t mean in the same way everyone thinks their memory sucks. I’ve had a least a dozen people tell me my memory is the worst they’ve experienced. I wish I could over-exaggerate this fact, but it would not be easy.
In addition to being a spaz that’s constantly not present mentally I’m also a creative-type. This means I’m pretty good at sitting down and thinking stuff up. As the scales are tipped heavily in that favor my abilities to reason, rationality, and use logic are somewhat deficient. I have talked about believing that pasta came from the sea until I was a junior in high school.
Note – If you search for “doesn’t pasta come from the sea” you’ll see that my genius comes up number one in Google.
In college I really tried to plan. I was heavily into self-improvement and studying accelerated learning techniques. I became a speed reader and had a high comprehension at about 1300 words per minute. I learned tricks of master memorizers and could photocopy documents in my head for later retrieval. While all of this is very cool I still had a terrible time putting into action such tasks like doing my laundry in advance of being out of underwear.
Well, I’m thirty-six and I still don’t keep a regular to-do list.
My desire to stay organized is unmatched by common man. I have purchased books, planners, seminars and software to keep me organized. It’s just something that doesn’t come naturally.
When I met my wife she was a fantastic planner and logician. Usually people with medical degrees have to be. There’s such a large amount of studying involved that you become good at planning, remembering, and executing. She didn’t have much creativity, but I had plenty for the both of us. Not only did she remember (she kept lists) what she was to do each day, she had a knack for remembering what I was to do that day as well. It was awesome.
While never a nag she would remind me, “Hey, today why don’t you do x, y, and z?” If you’re like me I highly recommending marrying one of those. Eventually they’ll get fed up and divorce you, but for a few years it’s a great ride.
I am committing to you bozos that I’m going to work this organization thing out. Over the past two years I’ve really stepped up my game. But even I have slip ups. I’m one of those people that will forget to pay his credit card bill on the thirteenth every month. The past two months I was a day late. I called all freaked out to the company and they waved however those charges thing works. Every other bill I have goes out automatically from my bank each month because of my memory.
From time to time I’m going to check in with you to hold myself accountable. For example, I have three contests for you that I haven’t executed because I keep forgetting to write them down and plan them out. To the dude who keeps emailing me photos of his wang, no, that’s not one of the contests. Also, please direct those photos elsewhere. I already have a wang.
Just for poops here’s my latest pocket notebook made by a local company in Chicago. I also ordered a fountain pen so I can seem ultra awesome to on-lookers.
KareDiane says:
I’m 49, very creative, extremely ADD (although I can multi-task with the best of them with intense focus… but takes a lot of concentration, admittedly)…. so there is hope for you! Squirrel!
D.J. Paris says:
KareDiane Hilarious.
Katjaneway says:
I’m one of “those people”. Hopefully my to-do lists dont annoy him too much lol I usually try to keep a list in my head, though, unless its groceries. My memory sucks too. I get that pointed out to me often when Hubby starts talking about something I can’t remember every happened. Yesterday. lol and when I talk about a memory, I’m all excited like “OMG I remembered this – be proud of me!!” lol
D.J. Paris says:
Katjaneway My memory is brutal. I tried to remember what I wrote last night and it took me three minutes. That’s part of the reason why I write so much – to make sure I got out what was in.
marty diamond says:
I love my moleskine notebooks – carry one everywhere – hard cover & elastic band make them easy to write on and don’t find them at the bottom of my bag flipped open & pages all asunder – husband keeps his written in the smallest print possible on a single sheet of paper folded like an origami in his shirt pocket at all times –
D.J. Paris says:
marty diamond Moleskines are great! I have to earn them, though. Ha. I feel that I’m wasting them when they just sit on my bookshelf.
LivingOffScript says:
I keep lists, but sometimes I forgot to stuff write down on them. What’s worse is when I forget to ask my husband to do stuff. So I started using this Astrid app where I can keep track of my to-do’s and assign some to him! He graciously downloaded the app for his phone, too, which makes this possible. He calls his list “honey-do’s,” as in “honey, do this” and “honey, do that.” *eyeroll*
D.J. Paris says:
LivingOffScript I have used Astrid – it’s good! I use Toodledo and it doesn’t work yet with Astrid, but it’s on their dev roadmap. Can’t wait for it to be integrated!
lisamfabry says:
My husband is a lot like you, very creative not very prepared. Rather than remind him what he needs to do every day I write it on the bathroom mirror in dry erase marker. I leave the marker in the bathroom and he has started to add his own To Do’s to it. It’s the one room in the house you HAVE to be in every day at least a few times and it ‘jogs’ his memory.
You’re blog is wonderful by the way and I look forward to every post!
Lisa
D.J. Paris says:
lisamfabry I love this! I didn’t know you could do dry erase on mirror. I normally just write with lipstick.
Kelly Jo says:
I fit in your category of organizer and I’m married to one of those natural organizers that keeps my life on track. I use a little moleskin notebook & keep it on me during the day (of course there are days I forget it). I could use a personal assistant.
D.J. Paris says:
Kelly Jo I used to use a moleskine but then I felt guilty of not using it “properly.” Ha.
TheHost says:
The Husband uses me as his to-do list. He may actually prefer divorce to the homicidal rage I sometimes feel. Go electronic. It’s more likely to get done if the reminders are as annoying as hell.
D.J. Paris says:
TheHost I talked with him the other day. His mistress keeps him centered. Carry on as per usual.
gypsykline says:
I hate when I have brilliant ideas while lying in bed. I started keeping a notepad next to my bed and write borderline unintelligible brilliance in the middle of the night.
Good luck with being organized. I hate when I forget to pay my bills and I am so stupid because I have NONE of them come out automatically and I have at least ten bills every goddamn month. I will be waiting for your brilliant tips.
D.J. Paris says:
gypsykline Hook up the automatic payment! Will make your life a heck of a lot easier. Report back!
jcereola says:
Being organized is overrated. Forget about it and be happy.
D.J. Paris says:
jcereola Fine – I’ll just be happy. Thanks. I’m all fixed!
Natalie the Singingfool says:
You are me in man-form. I have a bill that’s due on the sixteenth of every month – has been for the last ten years – and I forget to pay it every. stinking. time.
D.J. Paris says:
Natalie the Singingfool You can set it to auto-pay you know. I deal with the same thing, and I haven’t set it up either. 🙂
YoungmanBrown says:
I’m very bad at this as well. I do make lists, though I never finish them (and sometimes misplace them).
D.J. Paris says:
YoungmanBrown I don’t misplace them, but I don’t review them and then nothing gets done.
Daniel Nest says:
Good luck on your planned journey of planning!
D.J. Paris says:
Daniel Nest Thanks, Dan! I’m getting better – been carrying around the to-do list and pen. Weird that I just starting doing this. Ha.
Daniel Nest says:
tfpHumorBlog Daniel Nest To-do list and a pen a every day, keep the forgetfulness away…yeah, I suck at educational nursery rhymes.
http://www./ says:
Tip top stuff. I’ll expect more now.