I just came back from a headshot photoshoot. Why, you ask? Am I going to Hollywood? No.
I am writing for a new magazine and they are nice enough to put me on their fancy “contributing editors” page. So, in typical D.J. fashion, I scheduled the shoot for the day I got back from a wedding. In fact it was on my way home from the airport, where I still reeked of plane farts.
That stale plane smell is really awful. I know people have all sorts of allergies and things, but why not some form of fragrence? Like that eucalyptus shit they douse spas in? That stuff is amazing. If I was going to wear cologne (which no man ever should, by the way – or at least no man ever should to work) I’m just going to rub a eucalyptus leave on my crotch. Wrists, too.
Back to the bad planning. I ate my ass off this weekend – was at an Hindu wedding, and despite their thin physiques, Indians eat stuff loaded with butter and oil. It’s delicious, spicy, and ruins your clothing. But also not low-cal.
Then I went to San Francisco and did more eating for two days. Then I boarded the plane today and came back. I’m totally going to squeeze my face fat out using Photoshop. Hey, chicks do in on Vogue covers all the time.
That’s all for tonight.
NotanlyNeurotic says:
Is this a widespread belief about men not wearing cologne to work? It is because the scent can be heavy and overly distracting? I’ve never had any complaints about men or women wearing fragrance in the office. But you know what I can’t stand? The smells of random people’s sodium-packed microwaveable lunches wafting together to form some sort of super storm of stank in the middle of the office. It always smells like Asian food and it always makes me want to gag …
Congrats on being one of the chosen ones. I always have red eye in my photographs which clearly must mean I’m kind of the opposite of “chosen”.
D.J. Paris says:
You can smell sodium? That’s a thing?
pdk117 says:
I think you look great in this shot. Is this a wedding you are in? You worry to much. You both look GREAT. Paul @pdk117
D.J. Paris says:
@pdk117 Thanks, Paul!
A. Karoline Riskowski says:
Cologne is fine, so long as a man uses it properly. It’s usually the younger guys who make the mistake of putting on too much and smell like they just took a bath in Axe. The key to proper application is that a person should only be able to smell your fragrance when in close proximity to you. My husband, fortunately, always got it right. Same goes for the women out there: keep it subtle!