I Got a F***ing Pedicure!

jessica
Being totally normal

A few weeks back I showed photos of my shameful feet.  My toes, specifically.  Actually one toe.

The big monster spear toe.  The second one from the inside.

If you didn’t read that post – click here and prepare to get fouled out.

While Jessica The Reader (aka Jessica) was in town this weekend, she forced me to get a pedicure.

Quite frankly, I don’t really understand the attraction.  I mean, obviously I don’t paint my nails or long to get my cuticles pushed, but the whole thing seems way  unnecessary.  The foot massage is lame, the whirlpool effect I can get by passing wind in the bath, and I don’t read Redbook.

However, I will say that those back  massage  chairs are pretty fantastic.  I was moaning like a preacher’s daughter the whole time.

My girlfriend apparently has insanely ticklish feet.  She burst out in uncontrollable laughter during the pumice stone.  It was pretty embarrassing.

jessica
Being totally normal

 

jessica
You're embarrassing me in front of the Vietnamese!

Fast forward to the end.  My feet are cleaned, trimmed, and less nasty.  I guess that’s good?

feet
Even though it doesn't look like I have a nail on the far right toe, I absolutely do. It's super normal. I promise.

9 thoughts on “I Got a F***ing Pedicure!”

  1. capronstrings says:

    There is simply no limit to what I would have given to witness this spectacle.   And you know, the Vietnamese were talking about you the whole time.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @capronstrings  I believe they were talking about rice paddies.

  2. Hilly293 says:

    @tfpHumorBlog well done. Next time get red nail polish

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      @Hilly293 I’ll go burgundy, thank you very much.

      1. Hilly293 says:

        @tfpHumorBlog You sure? I hear jade mint is going to be very popular next spring.

      2. Hilly293 says:

        @tfpHumorBlog You sure? I hear jade mint is going to be very popular next spring.

  3. keliroxurface says:

    @tfpHumorBlog yay!! The best pedicure I ever got was when I was like 8 months pregnant. My feet hurt 24/7

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      @keliroxurface I remember seeing those feet when you were 8 months pregnant. They were fat.

      1. keliroxurface says:

        @tfpHumorBlog yeah they were!

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