I’m excited to announce the first ever ThoughtsFromParis contest courtesy of Vapor4Life.
When I was a teenager I got busted for everything I shouldn’t have been doing. Drinking, smoking, and girls. Okay, not girls. I didn’t have girls. Sad.
Anyway, smoking was one of the best parts of my adolescence. An instant nicotine rush of pleasure and relaxation.
There were two bummers about cigarettes…
- They made me smell like death
- I couldn’t fire up in the house because they made everything smell like death
Had technology existed back then to enjoy this amazing high without filling the house with smoke, I would have spent all my Bar Mitzvah money on such a device. Okay, I wasn’t Jewish. I would have converted though just for the cash to be able to buy said device.
Technically, at that time there was such a device. It was called your lower lip and you could fill it with chew. But, I wasn’t getting laid anyway and spitting into a makeshift Dr. Pepper two-liter spittoon wouldn’t have helped.
Back to the contest! We get it! You didn’t have dates.
I can’t tell you how many times my folks found my crumpled up packs of Camel and Parliament in my car, pockets, and bedroom.
Now I want to hear your best “getting caught” story!
The winner as voted on by Vapor4Life and their army of fans will decide who wins the…
Ultimate E-Cigarette Starter Kit
You can go and read about the kit but basically you’ll get everything you need to rock out the nicotine without smelling like farts. They’re even throwing in a bunch of extra stuff for you!
But D.J., I don’t smoke!
Yeah, I don’t either.
Well, first, I’m not sure I believe you. After a few belts of Schnapps I suspect you’ll take a drag off a Pall Mall if given the opportunity. But even if you really don’t smoke you know somebody who does. Or wants to start.
This is a PERFECT holiday gift!
The rules are simple – click the button below and submit your best “getting busted” story.
Contest will be open starting now through next Monday. If I don’t get a lot of entries I’ll extend it further.
I’ll post the best “getting caught” stories here on the blog but changing names, places, etc for your privacy. Oh, about privacy. Your information will not be shared with Vapor4Life or anyone else for any reason.
Okay, let’s hop to it! Tell me about a time when you got caught!
Katjaneway says:
Wow, I’m sorry but… a cigarette starter kit? I can’t even say how wrong this is on every level. How horribly evil and wrong it is. *shakes head sadly*. I should win the contest just so I can throw it into the garbage 😛
D.J. Paris says:
Katjaneway Don’t disparage my sponsor! Also, I think it’s relatively healthy. You’re only ingesting the nicotine. Not the smoke.
bluenotebacker says:
Can’t say I ever really got “busted” for smoking cigarettes, probably because my best friend & I would walk down to the Dairy Queen and smoke in the back where the grass was, next to the parking lot, and when we were done we’d scrub our hands in the grass to remove the smell. We were geniuses!
Thankfully, I don’t smoke anymore.
D.J. Paris says:
bluenotebacker You can submit a story for getting away with anything! But I love the grass scrub.
inthemomlight says:
I don’t need an entry into this contest because I don’t smoke, but thought you would enjoy the story when I dopped a bag of doja out of my cheerleading jacket on the kitchen floor one night. My mom was like is this oregano? And my dad was like, No Carol, it’s marijuana. I explained that it wasn’t MY weed, I was just drug trafficing it to my friends in another town. I asked for it back, which was no dice from the ‘rents. They hid it in their drawer until I found it, replaced it with crappy weed and smoked the good stuff with my friends. I mean it was 60 bones, which was probably like 300 bucks now a days, and I wasn’t exactly rolling in the loot in those days. So anyway, the statute of limitations is up on this confession so I can’t get arrested, but I did smoke the J a few times in my day…. BUSTED. In other news, I was also busted smoking it at the dry cleaners once, but I’ll save that story for another day, but you can really do anything with a can of coke, a fan, and a plan.
D.J. Paris says:
inthemomlight As a drug pusher I totally thought you could find someone to give it to – present it to one of your smoker doctors! Great story!
D.J. Paris says:
@kaomghin12 Anything!!!
calivaper says:
Believe it or not, I didn’t smoke anything until I was 18. When I did, I decided to try weed. I went down to the local bowling alley, which was a great teen hangout in our town…plenty of vid games to play, and back then you could smoke inside.
I recognized a dude that was rumored to push dope, so I approached him. He sold me a “dime bag”, and I went to 7 eleven to get some zigzags and a book of matches. This was going to be my first time smoking anything, and I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I didn’t want any of my friends to know about this because I was unclear about how it would affect me. So I drove my ’77 Ford Pinto to a side street around the corner from my house, parked the car and lit up.
As you may have guessed by now, I smoked the whole joint myself! I was blitzed! I sat there in the car for a few minutes, “spacing out” to the music on the radio. Then I drove around the corner to the house.
Upon entering, I was greeted by my mother. She took one look at the unstoppable smile on my face and the glazed look in my eyes and asked, “Are you high?” I didn’t even know she knew what being high looked like…but she knew alright. As I sat down on the barstool, she threw her right hand across my face, and I hit the floor. But as I recall, the smile was still there.
Any future smoking was done where I could chill out for awhile before going home. Good times.
Daughter of Maat says:
I’ve been vaping for about 2 years now (although I vape Volcano, nothing against your sponsor, I just like Volcano’s emblem lol). I have to say, making the decision to vape was the best one I ever made. I still get my nicotine, but I can breathe, I don’t get winded when I workout, and I don’t smell like farts (unless I fart…. oops). Vaping isn’t safe (neither is eating if we’re honest with each other), but it’s much safer than smoking. Especially considering there are only 2 chemicals involved instead of 4,000!
Mandi says:
I tried to enter, but it took me to your Facebook page, and I will so not share this story there (because here is so much more private?). I don’t necessarily need an E-cig starter kick, but I can’t resist something that’s kind of free. (is there a way to put “oregano” in it b/c then I might be interested?)
So here’s my story:
17 year old me ditched school so that I could hang out with my boyfriend, and by hang out I mean…do it. We went to his house out in the country where nobody would find us because…sex. We were right in the middle of it. I was fully naked, on top, and very much in the moment when I looked over and saw his dad staring at my 17 year old naked body from the other side of the uncovered window. I may have screamed and injured the boyfriend whilst grabbing every bit of blanket/sheet that was near me. Luckily, boyfriend’s dad went straight to his own room and gave me time to recover, redress, and retreat.
Mandi says:
Like a moron…I didn’t realize this was a Best Of…but you’re welcome for the story anyway.