The Worst Post of the Year

While looking for a photo of a large dalmatian, I found one with a bunch of small dalmatians. See, I can't even make this funny. I give up.

As many of you know I have written a post every day this year.  I’ve also bragged in interviews that I haven’t published a poor one yet.  Each one, while not perfect was at least a 7/10.

You may disagree.  F you and your silly hat.

However, this is the first time I’ve had a true block.  Usually I can go back through my day and find something funny, interesting, or touching to talk about.  While I may not know where I’m going, within a few hundred words it takes shape.

I think I know why it’s hard today.

When I visit my parents at home (such as now), I regress.  I’m back in high school.  No responsibilities, lots of things to eat that are stocked by someone else,  and clean sheets and towels.  I don’t pay for dinner and nobody asks me to do much of anything.  It’s like a vacation without the invoice slipped under your hotel room door.

What I’ve learned about myself is that without a ton of hard work I don’t develop my potential.  Having things handed to me, while appreciated, ultimately allows certain emotional and mental muscles to atrophy.  My creativity goes away.

Since I’m not making decisions (most everything is provided here), I don’t have many real experiences.  I was looking back on this day and realized I didn’t do much.  I ate Chinese  food for breakfast followed by a big bag of popcorn.  Next, I went to Home Depot and my father helped me secure my car cover because it keeps blowing away.

Note : Car covers are usually reserved for douchebags.  I only have one  because my parking spot is directly under a tree filled with birds.  If I leave uncovered for one day, I have at least six shit stains on the hood by that evening.  After a week it looks like I’m driving the world’s  largest  dalmatian.

After the hardware store I passed out for two hours.  Woke up, went to dinner.  Home now.  About to sleep.

No kidding I have nothing to write about.  I didn’t do anything!

Going home is amazing because it is the ultimate escape from the real world.  Mortgages, work, cleaning the oven – none of this exists while I’m here.  That’s the upside.

The downside is you just read the worst post of the year.  I’d encourage you to come back tomorrow, when I’m back in my condo and pissed that I have to take care of myself.  It will be funnier.

dalmatian
While looking for a photo of a large dalmatian, I found one with a bunch of small dalmatians. See, I can't even make this funny. I give up.

14 thoughts on “The Worst Post of the Year”

  1. Katjaneway says:

    What you did today, I do every day. Minus the parents part. And the Chinese food part. And… probably the home depot part because I shop at Lowes. What you did today was more than what *I* did!  Twitter was the most exciting part of MY day. (Still waiting for that apology from Alton Brown!) 😛

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Katjaneway  You need to explain the Alton Brown thing.

      1. Katjaneway says:

         @tfpHumorBlog  http://katjaneway.blogspot.com/2012/05/ive-been-retweeted.html there you go. My own blog post and everything! lol

      2. Katjaneway says:

         @tfpHumorBlog  http://katjaneway.blogspot.com/2012/05/ive-been-retweeted.html there you go. My own blog post and everything! lol

  2. Sonja Rois says:

    Don’t worry, tomorrow you have a wonderful story about how your cat leaked on your bed while you were gone and we will all rejoice and laugh at your antics once again.  Feel better?  😀

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Sonja Rois  No.  But thanks.

  3. mrslowrey says:

    OMG – How do you do this?   Every day?   I can’t do anything every day.   Especially make people laugh.   Well, actually I do that everyday.   Just not on purpose.   Funny funny funny.   (OMG – I just used OMG!   First time ever ..errr FTE!!

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @mrslowrey  You and millions of 13 year old girls now have something in common.

  4. TammyL says:

    When I’m sitting at home looking at the things out of place or in need of repair or worrying if I’m doing the right thing with a refi (although it is a no brianer, I still worry), I dream of a simpler life, like when I was living with my parents. My visits to them are much as you described – regression and slothfulness. Not having  responsibilities  isn’t as nice in fact as it is in theory. I’m fully with you there.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @TammyL  I love it so much.  But I get nothing done.

  5. Marti_L says:

    Hi! I came over from Twitter to say hi. Oh wait, I already said hi. Uh…cute picture of the puppies! (Runs away in disgrace at being unable to be clever)   tfphumorblog  

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Marti_L  That disgrace was apt.  You earned it.

  6. MissBatman24 says:

    You’re right.   Suffering is HILARIOUS! I think we’ve just answered the question about why God lets bad things happen to good people…

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @MissBatman24  Comment of the day.  Applause to you, faire maden!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.