Stairs Never Get Easier

woman on stairs sad
I know your pain, sister.

When I got my place nearly seven years ago, I opted for the top floor in our building.  The floor plans are essentially the same in each unit, but the fourth floor (the top) has the highest ceilings.  I think they’re 13′ feet or something.  Whatever – I thought it was cool.

One of the primary maxims of exercise is that if you’re constantly doing the same activity, repeatedly, over time, it should become easier.  This is due to muscles rebuilding and getting larger, and the cardiovascular system working more efficiently.

But this just doesn’t really happen for me.

I bike every day to and from work – about twenty miles roundtrip.  I’ve biked in all sorts of winds and conditions, and I take the same path along the lake every day.  Yet, when I get to work, each time, I am completely wiped.  I’m not really in shape, mind you, but still.

But that’s a workout and burns a few calories, so I’m not complaining.  Hard cardio in the morning and after work is a good thing.

What I don’t understand is this…

How – after seven years of climbing four flights of stairs each day,  multiple  times a day, has that not become any easier?

It’s not like I hire some foreigner to carry me up half the time (they cost too much).  There are no elevators.  Yet each time, whether I’m carrying loads of groceries or simply the mail, by the time I reach my door, I’m winded.

I read a story of an overweight dude who started marathon training by starting to walk from his house to his mailbox.  Ten months later he was able to run the whole damn thing.

I’m not overweight.  I eat decent.  I don’t smoke.

Why is it so incredibly hard to walk up four flights of stairs?  How have my muscles not adapted?

Well, I guess it doesn’t matter.  It’s just hard and probably always will be.  Here’s my advice…

Don’t assume that whatever is inconvenient will  change.  Or, morever, you will not adapt to make that change more bearable.

I feel like this is solid advice.  If your boss is a dick, he’ll always be a dick.  If your car pulls to the left, get used to it.  That rash you get each year on your inner thigh is coming back this October.

I think the trick is to learn how to co-exist with the discomfort of things that don’t change.  I’ve spent way too much time thinking that the stairs will get easier.  I’m always disappointed when they suck fat balls.  So, I give up.

Stairs, you have beaten me.  I bow to your power.

It is really awesome when I order food to have the delivery guys panting hard at my door.  I give them the knowing nod.  But secretly I’m laughing at them for going through my pain.  Then I usually leave a crappy tip.

woman on stairs sad
I know your pain, sister.

photo credit: Éole via photo pin cc

11 thoughts on “Stairs Never Get Easier”

  1. LorcaDamon says:

    It’s all in your head. Unless it’s actually, in fact, in your legs. Your brain thinks the climb is Everest-like, so your body goes along with it. I’ve run several marathons and there is a very really mental wall that we build, no matter how hard we’ve trained. Mine is at mile 16, when I get depressed and think, “Why do I do this to myself?”

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @LorcaDamon  Mile 16?  Showoff.

  2. LuftigWarren says:

    “If your car pulls to the left, get used to it.”
     
    Or take it to the shop and get it fixed.   It’s probably indicative of something that is broken or damaged (or soon will be).
     
    Classic, lazy line.
     
    P.S. My car has been pulling to the left for like 3 years.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @LuftigWarren  Your comments always deliver in the end.  Well done.

  3. Katjaneway says:

    Here’s the question, though: are your LEGS tired? Or are your LUNGS tired? Cuz if you’re legs still burn after all this time then yes, that would be strange.  But getting winded I think is a lung capacity “problem”. Even marathon runners still breathe heavy after a run. I did a Swim for Fit class in HS (worst mistake of my life) and I would do laps with my head constantly above the water. The teacher would scream to me “put your head under!” and I’d yell back “I can’t! I can’t breathe!” Because that workout had me so winded that I couldn’t even put my head under for a half a second. I’m curious… I think you should take up swimming and increase your lung capacity AND  efficiency. You might find it easier to get up the stairs.  

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Katjaneway  No, it’s a leg thing.  Here’s the deal.  Because I’m not doing a heavy enough quad exercise to tear those muscle fibers, they can’t grow back stronger.  I just need to hit the gym and do some squats.  Which I hate doing.

  4. IfYouLikeBooks says:

    I am so glad to know I am not the only one! I have been taking the stairs instead of the escalator when I walk from my parking garage to my office building for over a year now, and it has not gotten even a little easier.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @IfYouLikeBooks  I know.  Thanks, body!

  5. Mark says:

    Thanks for posting this, I read this still breathing hard at my desk after searching nearly your exact blog post title.  I have noticed a slight improvement, not sure if it’s mental, I used to have to stop to catch my breath on the 6th floor, now I can make it all the way to the 9th without stopping, but I still look ridiculous coming out of the stairwell.  Luckily I’m first in the office.  I also like your sentiment about life, though I’m not sure I entirely agree.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Ha – you found my blog by searching “getting winded walking up a flight of stairs” – I’m not sure what is sadder.  That search, or the fact that I wrote about it.  Awesome.  Keep coming back!

  6. AntoniaMurphyNZ says:

    Awesome!   I had so much fun laughing at your pain!

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