Self-soothing.
This is something I am just learning. The past three years has been a journey into the feelings I avoided over my life. Since I had associated tough feelings (anger, fear, sadness) with shame, I ran fast and away each time any of them surfaced. I thought if I felt any of those it must have been my fault and I didn’t do something “right.” And sometimes, of course, that’s true. But 90% of the time it’s just natural pain we all experienced as children. Therefore, shame resulted.
Okay, are you sufficiently bummed? I forgot this is a humor blog. Blow out your hanky and let’s continue.
Oh, and stop carrying around a hanky. That’s nasty.
As I was exploring all of this with my therapist this morning I looked over at my dog. We were talking about the idea of self-soothing and I looked at the doctor as if she were speaking Greek.
By the way, that’s a weird expression. I don’t find Greek people puzzling and their language isn’t that crazy. I could get around Greece just fine. I feel like most of it is just pointing to landmarks and ordering things with feta. I don’t there’s that much to it.
She asked if I had an object from my childhood that I used to self-soothe. I’m sure I did back then but I came up blank. We tried to find one in my past but nothing was working. Finally I looked over at my dog who was passed out in her backpack. I realized she soothes me. I get to see her all day long every day, which is incredibly fortunate. Today she also accompanied me to the DMV to get a replacement license. Tonight she’s going to another meeting. I swear I’m not a dog weirdo. It’s just on the way home.
This is about the shortest post I’ve ever written but there isn’t that much to be said. In order to fully experience my emotions that are difficult I’m going to have to learn how to soothe a little more effectively. And while overeating pizza is fun it’s probably not the most emotionally healthy way to deal with pain.
Right now as I’m writing this the dog is peacefully snoring under my desk. She’s making little noises in her sleep that suggest she’s dreaming about chasing something exciting. I watch her drop into a trance each night after she goes to the bathroom where she puts a stuffed bear in her mouth and her tail wags like crazy for about ten minutes. She is self-soothing. Not sure from what as the little shit has the best life possible.
But for now, until I get more mental tools that will help me self-soothe I will use my dog. Her breath does not soothe me, however, now that I’m thinking about it. She needs a dental.
Tomorrow I will bring more of the funny. Since I haven’t said it in awhile, thanks for reading. You ladies and men are important to me – well, the cool ones. You lame-o’s can go soak your heads.
Lil says:
I think there’s a word missing somewhere in there.
Lovelyn says:
Dogs are the best. I don’t have one of my own yet, but I dog it for my sister all the time and her dog seems to know just what to do to make me laugh when I’m feeling down. He can also be quite bossy and a little creepy at times, but that’s a different story.
Kelly @ In the Mom Light Blog says:
Ugh, I need to teach my baby to self soothe like that baby on Meet the Fockers.
D.J. Paris says:
Whiskey on the gums, yo.
Ericamos says:
Dogs are great soothers. I love how they always seem to know just when you need a little extra love.
gina valley says:
Does writing help you self-soothe?
Ellie says:
Awwww, D.J. has a soft side! Even though it wasn’t funny, this post was adorable!
Crystal says:
So, you have one dog? ‘Cause I don’t know if you noticed this or not, but your little buddy has two beds. 😉 I’m just sayin’. 😀
Occasionally I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I have a lot of them. I’m not a stuffed animal weirdo, I don’t do things to them or dress them up and I generally don’t carry them around with me unless it seems appropriate, like I’m at a convention and I happened to find one with chain mail or something… okay, so maybe I am kind of a weird. But at any rate… occasionally I sleep with a stuffed animal until I get to feeling guilty and thinking, “I’m a grown up. I should not be attached to something that brings me comfort in such a way.” But now I don’t think I’m gonna feel that bad about it. ‘Cause, self-soothing. *nodnod*
My cat would be soothing if she weren’t evil. She’s cute. But she’s evil.
Crystal says:
See, this is why Sapphire is not soothing. Because she steals my stuffed animals. That’s why I have so many. Yeah, that’s it.
http://flic.kr/p/dM7bgh
Charla says:
Both my dog and cat are very soothing for me. I’ve really learned to appreciate them the past 4 months while my hubs is deployed. I wish I could take my pup with me everywhere, but at 62 pounds, he takes up a lot more space than your little guy!
Paul B. Taubman, II says:
Dogs sooth.. Cats sooth (although they can be a bit on the snobbish side!)
Music does a good job of soothing for me!
Thanks, man!
Paul.
(btw – love the tagline here!)
phyllis says:
Loved your post! As I wake up each morning, my little bichon frise rolls to have his belly in the air, primed for petting. I wake with a smile each morning and go to sleep the same way (when my hubby does not steal him!). Animals are so soothing and the unconditionall love they give is super healing.
Kate Hall says:
Aww, that’s such a cute picture of your dog. And I’m not even a dog person.
Norelle says:
I am reading a book you might find very helpful – mine is full of highlighted pages – Daring Greatly. I hope you will give it a try.
iphone says:
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