Prozac in the Ears (and on my fingertips)

pantaloons cleaning miss meepers
She cleans me the same way after I fall asleep. I don't dislike it.

The only thing worse about somebody that has cats is somebody who writes about cats.

So, let’s get started.

If you’re new to this blog, you might not be aware of the seemingly endless saga of my cat peeing outside her litter pan.  This is particularly bothersome because I am a fantastic owner.  My ex-wife is also a veterinarian.  But before I left this weekend for a trip, Pantaloons was kind enough to pee on both the beds in my condo.  Within sixteen hours.

Now, I love my cat.  She’s fantastic.  Plus she worships the dog, and when the dog and I arrive home from work, she races over and rubs up against both of us.  They sleep together and she’s one of those cats who purrs all the time.  So, she’s not a shithead.

Well, she is a shithead when it comes to peeing outside the box.  I’ve tried many different solutions from cat repellent to adding a second litter box, buying the good cat litter, closing off doors, playing with her more to satisfy her predatory nature, all sorts of crap.  I’ve had her tested multiple times for UTIs and other health issues.

The only thing that has worked is fluoxetine.  Better known as Prozac, for some reason it is incredibly effective at making cats pee where they should.  Nobody exactly knows why.  And hey, I believe in medicine.  Medicine is a good thing.  Especially psychoactive ones that correct goofy brains.

And I’m convinced that’s all this is.  The fact that when I brought her home as a kitten she ran over to the dog and started licking him was probably a sign.  She’s never hissed, and is sweet as a boysenberry.

But some people just have goofy heads.  She has a goofy head.

The problem is that cats hate taking medicine.  At first I was shoving a syringe down her throat and pumping in the liquid dose.  After a week of this she was hiding from me every day.  Not good.  Then I tried putting the pills in treats, but cats are smart.  They figure out what you’re doing within a few weeks and stop eating treats.

There is one additional solution.  A transdermal goo that you rub inside her ears that goes right into her bloodstream.  There haven’t been studies on whether this actually works, but I’m game for anything.

The other thing I did was buy a bunch of painter’s canvases.  I’ve never painted a day in my life.  I’m not above doing that, but I would screw up my floors.  And the walls.

Every morning I will cover my bedspreads with these tarps and that way I can leave the home free for her to roam.  Hopefully the meds kick in within a week or two and I can take the covers off.

My ex was telling me to make sure I bought latex gloves to administer the dosage.  She said it will go right into my bloodstream as well.  I already take meds.  I’m not afraid of a little Prozac.  Plus, those rubber gloves feel weird.

And maybe it will lift my spirits a little.  God knows I don’t want to do it through heavy emotional work, therapy, diet and exercise!

pantaloons cleaning miss meepers
She cleans me the same way after I fall asleep. I don't dislike it.

24 thoughts on “Prozac in the Ears (and on my fingertips)”

  1. shy_one96 says:

    If this works I am trying it on my son. He has no spacial awareness. He is nearly 16 and I still  consider    putting fruit loops in the bowl for aiming at. Nothing worse than stumbling into the throne room at 3am and slipping on what you pray is just water on the floor. Surely a 16 year old can aim, right?
     
    By the way your fur babies are adorable. ^_^

    1. SethMan321 says:

       @shy_one96  Lady.  Trust me.  Men are pigs whether they’re 16 or 61.  They don’t grow out of it.  You could build him an Olympic-size pit to pee in and he’d still dribble everywhere.  You could try electrifying the floor with 12 or so volts of electricity.  One little dribble outside of the toilet and {{ZAP}}!  It probably wouldn’t stop the dribbling but it would make a great conversation piece at your next dinner party.

      1. Katjaneway says:

         @SethMan321    @shy_one96  LOL It’s too bad that Mythbusters disproved that you could shock yourself from peeing.

        1. SethMan321 says:

           @Katjaneway    @shy_one96  What?!  How did I miss that episode?!  By the way, are you THE Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager?  I’ll bet men are still pigs in the 24th century.

        2. Katjaneway says:

           @SethMan321    @shy_one96  6 years ago I might’ve said yes, as I’ve watched the entire series more than once. But since then I’ve forgotten most of it haha. About the peeing thing, it was simple, really. On the high speed, you could see that the urine stream wasn’t solid. Because it broke up, electricity couldn’t travel through it. Sorry to bust your dream! lol

    2. D.J. Paris says:

       @shy_one96  You failed as a mother – you needed to shame him into sitting down each time while at home.  Nary a drop shan’t have been spilled.

      1. Sonja Rois says:

         @delfinparis  That doesn’t work in my house.  When the boys sit and pee it splashes back and comes out between the bowl and seat.  I think that’s that those rugs that fit around the toilet were made for though.  Whoever created those was a genius.  Pee dribble by the toilet?  Just throw this rug in the washer and no problem!

  2. Katjaneway says:

    Good luck with that! A lil prozac never hurts anybody… it helps make my sister a decent person!

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Katjaneway  Yeah, your sister blows.

      1. Katjaneway says:

         @delfinparis  How’d you know? haha

  3. elleroy5 says:

    Adorable photo! Cat pee is the absolute worst. I once put the cat on my lap in the car. A semi passed us and scared the piss out of her. Literally.
    I has to get rid of the clothes and the car. But that’s okay. It was a Ford Escort.

  4. elleroy5 says:

    Cat pee is the worst. I once had the cat on my lap in the car. A semi passed us and literally scared the piss out of her. I had to get rid of my clothes and the car. That’s okay though. It was a Ford Escort.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @elleroy5  Shouldn’t a rock star from the acclaimed band “Jehova Waitresses” be driving something a little more cool?

      1. elleroy5 says:

        @delfinparis Yeah…that’s what I kept telling the Hubby, but that damn car wouldn’t die. Curse Ford! I’ve graduated to a Jeep. I’m gunning for a mini cooper.

  5. pdk117 says:

    These to are so adorable. If only people could get along so well. I mean the closeness part of course, My friend Sherry Wilson will love this photo. Thanks for posting it. You all are the best.

  6. HeyMikey says:

    Time to fire up the woodchipper and bid Pantaloons farewell as she tumbles through the air propelled by a 12-Wide. She’ll be in good company in Hell with all things feline and flies.  

  7. angieuncovered says:

    I don’t even pee on anything and I think it would kick ass to have someone stop by and rub Prozac on my ears. Is this seriously what a girl has to do to get a little affection and freedom from depression? Hell, I’d be willing to just start with the ear massage and see if that helps.  

  8. Sunshine says:

     @angieuncovered  I couldn’t agree more with you, angieuncovered! I started writing a blog happyhourwithsunshine.com to avoid having to take prozac.  Not because I disagree with prozac.  But because I HATE taking pills!  I was NEVER offered a transdermal goo option.  If I had, I would have been all over it! Or shall I say, it would’ve been all over me!  

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @angieuncovered  You can learn to inject it inbetween your toes.
       
      Oh – no, wait. That’s heroin.

  9. D.J. Paris says:

     @angieuncovered  I have decided – after four months of contemplation. I, D.J. Paris, will rub Prozac into your ears. Congrats.

  10. D.J. Paris says:

     @HeyMikey  Okay, you’ve convinced me. I’m going to off her and NOT make it look like an accident.

  11. Margo says:

    Hi there,

    This is a LONG shot but I am trying to figure out how to give my vat her prozac and she is as smart & stubborn as the kitty you are describing here. My Vet just today recommended the ear drops. Did that work for you? Sorry if this feels like I am coming from a bizarre time machine. This ordeal has made me reach out everywhere! Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.