I tweeted this out hours ago, and I’m sorry about the repeat. But this is still making me laugh. And I mean out loud. Right now.
The other day I wrote about my biggest fan – she had read every one of my words within eight hours. While I admire her devotion and I love her for her effort, she is not my favorite fan.
No, I’m sorry. And that goes as well for my close friends, my girlfriend, and my family. I like you all just fine.
But I LOVE this guy.
Yesterday I told the tale of “Sally C-Word”, the maid I found on Craigslist who was kind enough to rip off a bunch of my possessions. Today, I get this direct message on Twitter.
I have no idea who he is. But I love him. So much. I want to be his best friend. In my mind we’re already best friends.
Couple of things – first, do his clothes not perfectly match the language? As they say in 1995 hip-hop, the dude is not frontin’. He is “on the real.” At first you might think he is trying to be funny. I assure you he’s not. Look at that hoodie. Looks at those words. They match.
The other thing is that this is a private message to me. He didn’t put this out on Twitter to get attention. No, this was communication from him to me. I love that he didn’t do this publicly. It was just for me. I feel cool.
Now, lest you think I’m goofing on him – I can assure you I am not. This guy is authentic and awesome. And c’mon, can you believe he reads blogs? 80% of you reading this are moms! This could be your son. In fact, I hope it is.
Thank you to all who are reading this, but I like him just a little bit more. Sorry.
pdk117 says:
Don’t be sorry. You can like whom ever you want the most you want. I like you more some days than others. Not to change the subject but I have to tell you that I was in a size 38 waist pant about a 45 days ago and have been eating Dark chocolate Peanut @MY M&M’S every day. I mean a lot of them. I will eat them in the morning mostly while Tweeting and at night doing the same. During the day I am active somewhat. No real workouts ever. I mainly eat humus, salads, cereals, @Wawa breakfast sandwiches, not really on a strict diet plan of any kind. I call it my Dark Chocolate Peanut @MY M&M’S plan. Anyway, in the 45 day I lost 15 lbs and I am in my 34 in pant now. Thank you Dark Chocolate Peanut @MY M$M’S. Paul Kleinguenther @pdk1174
D.J. Paris says:
@pdk1174 Congrats on the weight loss. Four sizes is a big deal! I have always been a 33-34 and I was inching up to a 35. Then I got scared and started watching the calories.
LuftigWarren says:
Whatever, bro. No one cares that he is your favorite and we aren’t.
(slowly walking to the front door, pouting. looking back to see if you’re going to stop me. loud, obnoxious sigh to let you know that i’m really leaving. one last, long puppy-dog look hoping you’ll say something. picking up the pieces of my broken heart as i head to my car for a long, sad drive home listening to “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton.)
Seriously…no big deal. Don’t sweat it…
:-/
D.J. Paris says:
@LuftigWarren Well, at least you listen to really AMAZING MUSIC. Feather in your cap.
HillyG says:
I want to be his best friend, too!!
D.J. Paris says:
@HillyG I can pass over his info. He’s now at Dartmouth. Economics major.
lifealmostfact says:
forget being his best friend! I want to be YOUR best friend! In fact I’m willing to dress like a thug and talk “gangsta” and everything! lol
D.J. Paris says:
@lifealmostfact Thoughtful and alarming this comment is. Thanks?
rebecca odonnell says:
I love unexpected treasures. When I taught art at an abused kids home, they had a fondness for calling me a “moo foo ho.” They were eight to ten years old. I asked them what a moo foo ho was and one of them answered, “a mean cow.” Very, very hard to not grin and shame them. I agree about your fan. He’s great…looks just like my son.
D.J. Paris says:
@rebecca odonnell You son is headed for juvenile hall. Just a hunch…
Betty says:
I’m a 33 year old mom and have a 34 year old brother who fits this description perfectly. He reads blogs and writes like this. I don’t understand it but it’s him and I love him too. 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
Well, at least he’s taking time off of being a trial lawyer to write me. (I’m assuming he’s a litigator)
Andi Roo says:
I found this disturbing, sad, & hilarious — all rolled into one. Thanks for an… interesting (???) read.
Not my son, nor any of his friends… but I could see this in some of the homies around town. Which is funny, because we live in the cornfields of America. How can I take seriously someone who is all gangsta-ish while surrounded by hoe-downs & hill-billy golf???
Whatevs…
LOL!!!
D.J. Paris says:
@Andi Roo Those are the best type of white gangstas.