The title is pretty clear, yes?
Yesterday I didn’t really eat much other than yogurt, cereal, and protein drink. That’s not enough calories to get you healthfully through two ten mile bike rides to and from work. Since I often forget to eat during the day, I come home exhausted, sweaty, and famished.
As I realized I hadn’t planned dinner, I took to my freezer. After milling through five bags of mixed vegetables that will be consumed by 2014, I saw the bottom and realized there was no chicken.
I had plenty of deli sliced turkey, but sandwiches are for lunch, and I’m not a savage. I still cringe when I hear a grownup talking about how they eat cereal for dinner. I judge that.
Living in Chicago we have unarguably the finest pizza this side of Sicily. Lou Malnati’s is the best of the bunch, and for those who say otherwise I will fight you in the street until the police arrive. Then I’ll go beat up your first cousin because he probably thinks the same way you do.
Since I was tired and woozy I decided to order dinner. Even though I have a car, it has a cover on it and I have to tell on myself and reveal that sometimes I decide it’s too much effort to spend the forty-five seconds taking it off. This was one of those nights.
I checked the computer for a take-out option. I am not in any way above Chinese food, but I have never found a Chinese delivery restaurant that wasn’t disappointing. I’m 0/27 in good Chinese delivery. So that was out.
Delivery Mexican is just plain weird. To have some teenager deliver me a cold burrito didn’t appeal to me. Takeout sushi is a gamble and I wasn’t in the mood for Indian or Thai.
By the way Thai always trumps Chinese. If you’re Chinese, stop pretending you don’t think the same.
That leaves pizza. With all the great options Chicago has for pizza, why did I opt for Domino’s?
I love feeling like I’m making a sound financial purchase. Coupons do this for me. I found a coupon for Domino’s where I saved a whole three bucks. Move out of the way world, Delfin is coming through! I can’t be the only one at the supermarket who waits until the last purchase before scanning the savings card, just so I can see the total bill go down by $30. It feels like I just won life.
Because I was saving a bunch of green on this pizza order, I paid no attention to my stomach which reminded me that there were options that would actually taste better. Sure it might be an extra $10, but can you put a price on deliciousness?
Actually, yes. Perfect example – lobster is my favorite food, yet I eat it maybe once a year. Why? I’m too cheap to shell out $75 for myself at a restaurant. I feel like I’m not quite worthy of lobster purchase. I do buy the big shrimp when they’re on sale at the grocery and pretend that it’s lobster. It actually is pretty damned close.
So that’s how I find myself tonight eating leftover Domino’s. To be honest, I do sort of like it. I would never disclose it to my Chicago friends, and I hope they all hate me enough not to read this post. Alas, they don’t hate me, because I’m too great a guy. I’m going to have to go do something to invoke their ire – like bang their sisters.
Great – now I have to go and bang all my friends’ sisters.