I have an AWESOME food tip for you.
You know those rotisserie chickens you can get pre-cooked from the grocery store? I love those things and probably average one a week. I heat up a little brown rice and vegetables and combine it all in a bowl like pig feed. I know this sounds healthy, and it is, but it’s only once a week. The rest of the time it’s fozen pizzas and graham cracker Double Stuf Oreos.
By the way, once I’m done with a rotisserie chicken and only the carcass remains, I stuff that fucker into my garbage disposal and flip it on. I get some bizarre feeling of power from doing this and I thoroughly enjoy it.
Hold your comments on how it’s not good to stuff an entire chicken skeleton into the garbage disposal. First, I don’t care. Second, I’ve been doing this for over eight years in my condo and nary a problem has arisen.
Here’s the food tip – instead of picking up the chicken, get a roasted turkey breast. Most grocers don’t carry them, and you may have to call around. Even at the big chain that does them here in Chicago, only a few of the stores regularly have them. Turkey breasts are more expensive than the chicken – about $11 or so, but totally worth it. You get more than twice the meat, and it’s the healthy parts. Plus, turkey tastes better than chicken, and unless it’s Thanksgiving you don’t get the real stuff very often.
So today, my big accomplishment was to locate a cooked turkey breast. I called around and found a store that had two. Normally they won’t hold them for you, because, let’s face it, the deli counter women have better stuff to do. They’re busy with all that weird pre-made potato salad crap that I can’t believe anybody buys.
But today, for the first time, someone held one for me. I was pretty excited. Cooked up the brown rice (currently out of vegetables) and combined it for a nice 4pm lunch. Then, since our band played last night and I didn’t get home until about 2am, I passed out after this turkey feast. Woke up around 8pm.
It’s now 11pm, and I probably shouldn’t eat turkey this late, but I know I will. Oh yes.
Sonja Rois says:
Stuffing thing down garbage disposals that isn’t supposed to be in there is what they employ maintenance ppl for. So really, you’re just creating job security. Except you aren’t because it hasn’t clogged.
D.J. Paris says:
@Sonja Rois Your circular logic interests me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Ava B says:
First of all, turkey is awesome, and you are totally on to something with that. Secondly, the very fact that you HAVE a garbage disposal means that you are obligated to abuse it. That’s the rules.
D.J. Paris says:
Of course I have a garbage disposal. I’m no savage.
wilyguy says:
They aren’t that tough to cook either. Butterball makes one that has the little pop up timer. Dutch oven or that new crock pot… Dinner.
Btw, heading to Springfield in 2 weeks, might swing in to the city for portillos and the Willis tower. You guys playing anywhere?
WG
http://itsmynd.com
Katjaneway says:
My old roommate and husband keep forgetting that we even have one. But, my roommate was the worst. Would eat something and leave it stuck on the plate in the sink. I mean, COME ON. We have a freaking disposal! USE IT! Besides, we live in an apartment. If it breaks, it’s paid for. So, 😛
5ThingsAboutNothing says:
I dream of owning a garbage disposal even though I hear they sometimes decide to eat spoons all on their own. It sure beats scooping that yuck out of the bottom of the sink.
Katjaneway says:
I’ve had a very interesting time with my disposal. You would notice if a piece of flatware was in there, trust me. And you shut it off before much damage is done. The weirdest thing I’ve had stuck in my disposal was a cup. That was short and the perfect size to fit right inside. It took a lot of canoodling to get it to come out. That was fun 😛
Tall Curly Biscuit says:
I know a guy who once put a dead baby alligator down his disposal. Fertilizer…it all turns into fertilizer. By that logic, you should start putting poop down your disposal too.
Gwennie says:
Congrats on having someone hold your breasts.
Oh, and the garbage disposal bone grinding technique you’ve got there is pretty fucked up, but props to you for thinking of grinding up Mr. Tom to a fine dust vs just trashing his bony ass. A plumber friend told me it really isn’t great for your disposal to grind up large things but that the toilet is more able to handle large loads (ha!) so he regularly flushed his leftovers vs grinding them up. Just some food for thought for ya’… 🙂
Katjaneway says:
@Gwennie @delfinparis OR, you COULD make stock. I mean, at least that’d be getting some use out of it. And, you can freeze it in ice cube trays and use it at your leisure. Turkey stock is a coveted prize.
Gwennie says:
@Katjaneway I ALMOST went there with DJ on the whole broth idea, but I figured it might be above his head cooking wise. LOL I am embarrassed to admit I make bone broths, I may or may not freeze it in ice cube trays, and I may distribute said frozen treats to my children. 🙂 I still stand by the whole idea of flushing that shit down the toilet though & saving DJ’s poor disposal’s life! We once had a minor flood in our house because I ground up a bunch of shit in my disposal, which apparently shares piping with our washing machine, which got clogged, which poured out into our laundry room & consequently our BASEMENT. It was a real hot mess, but thank all things holy for INSURANCE! LOL
Katjaneway says:
@Gwennie Dang that’s horrible. But I think I read somewhere that he knows how to cook, right @delfinparis ? But then again, I completely understand laziness. Making stock isn’t as easy as it sounds really, and saving it would require you to use it at some point, which is just more work. I mean, if you’re into it, cool. I’m not lol And not to be nit-picky or anything, but broth and stock are different… >_<
Gwennie says:
@Katjaneway – well fuck me! Thought those terms were interchangeable! Oops!
Katjaneway says:
@Gwennie Broth is mostly made with the meat. Stock is made with the bones and has more of a fuller mouth feel and better flavor due to the release of gelatin from the bones. It’s okay though – I’m just anal and nit-picky cuz I watch Good Eats. lol
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway @Gwennie Way to create the most boring comment thread in my site’s history. Can you guys do 20 rounds on consommé next?.
Gwennie says:
@delfinparis – wtf ever! You know you are totally jotting down notes about stocks vs broths. Second, my “congrats on having someone hold your breasts” comment alone was worth all this other bullshit. You are welcome!!!!! 🙂
Ps – u r a shitty email returner. 🙂
Gwennie says:
Ps again – what are these points next to my name and how can I beat @Katjaneway?! Lol
Katjaneway says:
@Gwennie LOL Good question. What are these point thingies?
pdk117 says:
@Gwennie Is it really that important to you to talk like that. Makes you look like trash. I am going to stop reading your posts because you just don’t know how to write for people to read a descent blog. What a shame and a loss. Paul @pdk117
Gwennie says:
@pdk117 – I can’t please everyone & I am not trying to do so. We all have trigger words and I am sorry the F-bomb (which I do use) is yours. I will be instead be avoiding hate speech and the use of words which reinforce hatred such as retard, fag, the N word, etc. It is ok if you don’t read my stuff. And you are entitled to your opinion about those who curse. For me, it is just a word which on many occasion has brought me great joy to say and use in my lingo. Not all are well-placed, I am aware, but those that are have a way of diffusing some really stressful situations which I have dealt with on a daily basis for 10+ years. If saying “fuck” makes me feel better vs. other questionable things, I am gonna use it. That is certainly my right. I can honestly say that you are the first person to ever comment on my use of the word. Thanks for that!
Gwennie says:
Doubled up on “be” up there. Oops. Figured you might notice that too. The box to type in is tiny on this phone!
Judgment sure sucks!!
pdk117 says:
@Gwennie @pdk117 Please don’t blame the way you speak and the words that come out of you mouth on your stressful life because I have had more stress in my life in the past 3 yrs. then you have had in a life time and you don’t see me sounding like white trash. Go ahead Gwennie, say what you want if you FEEL better having to say it but it does not make you look or sound like a lady at all. Such a shame. Paul @pdk117
pdk117 says:
All that sounds yummy. We have a place here on the East coast called Boston Market where you can get half a turkey or just a quarter or really any parts you want. Lot less expensive also. I get the breasts as well and cover them with corn then mashed potatoes. I know I should skip on the potatoes but it is my on creation on a sheppards pie. I take it home and place under broiler for a few minutes until the potatoes are brown. Done. Enjoy. Paul @pdk117
D.J. Paris says:
@pdk117 Yeah, we have Boston Market, too. I think they’re owned by McDonalds which is, of course, headquartered here. Shepherd’s pie sounds awesome!
pdk117 says:
Not to get off the topic here but DJ, I saw a topic about what make or drives you crazy, Well the “F” word drive me nuts. I think it is right up there with the “C” word. In my feeling it lower my expectations of a person. A person uses this word to seem cool or something like that. to me you seem like you are more of a trashy person then an intelligent one. Say what you want, This is just how I feel. Paul @pdk117 @Gwennie @tfpHumorBlog
D.J. Paris says:
@pdk117 @Gwennie Would be so easy to reply with nothing but f’s and c’s, but I’m better than that. Well, not really. But I know you aren’t a fan of the f-word and I respect that. I only use it when I’m yelling at somebody to do something. They should do it better, dammit!
D.J. Paris says:
They aren’t that tough to cook either. Butterball makes one that has the little pop up timer. Dutch oven or that new crock pot… Dinner.
Btw, heading to Springfield in 2 weeks, might swing in to the city for portillos and the Willis tower. You guys playing anywhere?
WG
http://itsmynd.com
D.J. Paris says:
@wilyguy Man – am I far behind on my comments. Bummed I missed you!
D.J. Paris says:
@Tall Curly Biscuit Done and DONE.
D.J. Paris says:
The spoon thing is a myth. Unless you throw one in intentionally, like I do. It’s fun.
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway I never, never ever wash a dish before it goes into the dishwasher. Makes life so much easier. And more fun. I never know what’s going to get cleaned!
Katjaneway says:
@tfpHumorBlog lol there’s a difference between not washing a dish, and throwing pizza crusts and other bread objects in the sink to let rot for days as it soaks up all the liquid. lazy-asses. YUCK.