I Just Turned 37

I have never, nor will I, own a locket.

I turned thirty-seven yesterday.

Here’s a few thoughts I had on the bike ride home from work, reflecting on my life…

I found a great expression to get you out of most any trouble. This is especially useful at work. Next time you screw something up and you’re called to the carpet, simply respond with, “It was my understanding that…” You can then follow those words with any string of nonsense you choose. Nobody will call you out on your understanding. I notice politicians do this every week on  Meet the Press. “Boss, it was my understanding that banging the interns was encouraged. Did I have that wrong?” See? You can’t punish a guy when he talks with that verbal jujitsu. Now, thank me, and let’s move on. READ MORE

What I Won’t Tell You – BandBackTogether BlogAThon

Originally Posted at NextLifeNoKids

Comic created @ www.bitstrips.com

I would first like to thank JD Bailey @  honestmom, Allison  @  motherhoodwtf  and Jill @scarymommy  for inspiring me with their amazing honesty which encouraged me to write this.

I’ve dealt with a lot in life and have survived a ton in 34 years. I have faced all sorts of things head on and held on, some times with my knuckles, until these things have worked themselves out in time. I like to think of myself as a strong person and I like to help other people to a fault and often give until the well is dry. READ MORE

Worries in the Night – Band Back Together BlogAThon

Originally posted at One Day at a Time

Night is not a good time for me. The time when I’ve finished reading all my feeds, and all my online friends in other time zones were in bed hours ago, and finding something to occupy my mind becomes more difficult. Or even worse, when I’m settling down to try and sleep. It’s not always a good idea to leave me alone with my thoughts, with nothing to keep them at bay. READ MORE

Caffeine Sober

No, seriously, I want the t-shirts and everything.

I’m two days caffeine sober.

I had to do it.

The past four years I  hadn’t  touched any caffeine. Well, let me back up. Basically I didn’t drink any caffeine until I was thirty-one years old. Then I discovered energy drinks and the amazing high you get from them. Since I don’t drink or use drugs the highs I experience are limited. I can’t butt bong a beer, huff hobby glue, or pack bong loads. I can eat too much pizza and drink caffeine. That’s it for me. READ MORE

I Totally Got Gypped On My Date Tonight

I couldn't wait to slobber all over it.

I’m writing this from a date in progress. A ThoughtsFromParis first, as it were.

A woman I’m seeing who requested that I don’t use her real name (it’s Helen) asked me over for dinner tonight. The first bloggable moment came in the way she brought up this dinner over the phone. READ MORE

I Haven’t Washed My Hair in Seven Days

Can't seem to do much about my pale skin, though.

No, I’m not turning into a filthy hipster. There is no facial hair growth on my chin. I haven’t begun experimenting with the vegan lifestyle.

You ever notice how guys that are vegan are total weirdos? You can be a chick and be all the vegetarian you want, but a guy who only eats wheat grass is a bonafide freak. Why is that? READ MORE

Will My Love Keep Me Warm While My Furnace is Out? (WORST TITLE EVER)

My furnace repair guy had some interesting techniques. Also, no eyebrows.

My furnace went kaput last Friday.

It turns out you’re supposed to clean the filters every few months or so. You’d think this would have dawned on me after eight years of owning a place. But I’m kind of a moron when it comes to that stuff. I’m good at sitting down on the ground, pulling up a laptop and writing. I don’t do much cleaning except to say that I try to reduce clutter. That is my version of cleaning – putting things away. As the dust piles, it piles on empty tables. I’m proud of this. It’s a sad badge of honor. READ MORE

I Broke My Phone! (but kept my ID)

Michelle hasn't sent over the photos of us at dinner, so you just get me at dinner for now. Lucky you.

One of my best friends, Michelle, called me late afternoon.

Hey, I’m flying to the Chicago. I’m in the air – doing a commercial for WalMart. Let’s hang out!

I was thrilled. I hadn’t seen her in over a year yet we talk every week. During my divorce and other hard times, she’s been there. And I was introduced to her through my blog. She was a reader and now we’re very close. Had I not started this blog I wouldn’t have met her. READ MORE