I did something uncool on a date recently.
When I was parking my car outside of her townhouse, I applied The Club to my steering wheel.
Now, I am acutely aware that The Club is not fashion friendly. It’s not as bad as producing a two-for-one coupon at Dennys on a first date, but it’s similar.
A few weeks ago I was replying to comments here on the blog and I noticed one of my readers did handwriting analysis professionally. Her name is Theresa and if you want to learn about yourself, I suggest you go visit her site and hire her. She’s great.
I have this new friend – turns out we grew up just a few miles away from each other and know the same people.
In fact one of my more popular stories about the time I saw a high school classmate naked is a friend of hers. She even crafted half of my upcoming book’s title today, and her suggestions were better than what I had penned.
I am proud to announce that I have been brought on as a full contributing editor for AimingLow.
This could not be more exciting as to be put on their official writing staff is a very big deal to me. At first I was a lowly guest submitter hoping that they’d publish one of my articles. Next came being chosen for their Comic Relief Roster. This is the Junior Varsity team of AimingLow where you fill in when the regular writers miss a deadline. Well, after a long stint as a red-shirt (football expression I’m told) I now can proudly claim myself on their masthead. This comes at a good time, too, as the paper magazine I write for seems to be folding, sadly. They never let me do a lot of dick humor, though. AimingLow encourages it.
Yesterday, to celebrate the holiday of a Jew named Jesus’ birthday (…or is it today? I could never figure that one out.) I turned off my brain and asked you to flip yours on. You told me what to write. So I did.
Here’s part II.
Third grade. A little piece of shit named MonkeyMan Magoo (not his really name, but he might read the blog, plus he looks like a monkey) decided to tell all of us. We were all lined up to hug our third grade teacher Mrs. Groesch as we were leaving class to go on holiday break. MonkeyMan Magoo decided to ruin the surprise. He walked up the line telling everyone one-on-one, “There is no Santa Claus.” Traumatic – yes. However he went on to develop a bad drug addiction, outstanding warrants, and even some jail time. That erased any trauma.
I’m not sure if I laid this out before, but I’m too lazy to go back through my posts.
The book I’m working on is getting near finished and it’s crunch time. I have to put some serious effort in to put this out in January. Since I knew there was no way I could do it myself I reached out to you. And you responded in droves. I couldn’t believe it.
I was at an all-day goal setting workshop in the suburbs.
Goal setting, meaning actually writing down on paper that what I want to do with a completion date, has been one of those activities that works for me. I hardly ever do it, however. When I get home at night I have to finish getting current on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (what’s the gang doing this week?!). Plus, if I don’t stuff myself full of pizza how am I ever to pass out by eight o’clock?
I’m in the process of working on my first book.
No, it’s not the book that will come out late 2013. That’s a little ways down the road. This one needs to get done first.
Without going into too much detail, I need a little help. There’s some editing that I’d like your input on. But, there’s also some busy work. The busy work entails doing some copying and pasting before the actual editing. What I think makes the most sense is to have four people assist – that way we can divvy up the workload and it won’t take long at all.
Back in January I promised to write every day that month. Then I just kept going.
Now, I’m in the home stretch with one month to go. I’ve gone without a miss and I’m proud of the work that’s been published. I would have never thought that I would have something to say every day of the year but I guess I did. Not every post was a winner – there’s a probably a dozen or two that I’d like removed. The bad hair days of writing, if you will.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
