I Was A Poet (But I Knew It)

under construction

That may be my favorite title to date.

When I was eighteen my friend Carter had written a bunch of poems at his high school. He went to a fancy prep school where they fostered and encouraged creativity. I went to a Catholic school. Enough said.

Carter was not in the drama club, didn’t own a black piece of clothing, and would be described as “very masculine.” I went through his poems. They were damned good.

I had hardly ever read a poem much less penned one. Being inspired by my friend, I thought I would give it a shot. We both liked each other’s writings and made two copies of a co-authored poem collection. It was called Under Construction  and Carter drew the front cover and I the back. We produced all the content and got the thing published at Kinkos.

under construction

 

I’ve never studied poetry. I don’t understand rhyme schemes or couplets or any of that metered crap. It’s a whole thing and I’m not interested. Once I bought the collected works of Emily Dickinson and made it three poems in before getting bored.

Toward the end of college I decided to try another volume of poetry. I worked on it for about six months and completed Ballads, Fortunes, and Other Vices. Much of it is poop but I’m proud of a few pieces. This is probably the best poem I’ve ever written. If you don’t like it, you can go munch on dog boogers.

Written in this backward dream
The oceans spring of innocence
And further down than it may seem
This practiced fear inheritance

Master teach of armored spells
The curtains drawn on yesterday
And after night falls into now
The wind picks up and sweeps away

I was on a roll (a self-published author of TWO poetry volumes)! I decided to try something ambitious for my next collection. I spent a solid year writing regularly about whatever was going on in my life at the time. I amassed a hundred poems and whittled them down into thirty or so for The Now Project.

I was deeply in love at the time and there is a lot of, “I’m so hurt! No, wait, I love you! But you’re so cruel! Don’t leave me!” writings. It’s embarrassing. Here’s one from the book.

Thankful beauty follows near
for winter’s smile treats vested space
As quickly she could disappear
with my regrets to take her place

Not exactly Robert Herrick. But I wasn’t obsessed with virgins like him. I only had a mean girlfriend muse.

I have not written a poem since The Now Project. I thought I’d dust these off to see what was in my head fifteen years ago. Lots of  loneliness, apparently. You don’t spend a year writing poems if you’re going out on dates and crashing beer blasts. These poems are more depressing than that poster in my high school of Mother Teresa asking teens who are going to abort to “Give them to her, instead.”

I don’t think anyone in my class ever gave her one now that I’m thinking about it.

ballads fortunes and other vices the now project

9 thoughts on “I Was A Poet (But I Knew It)”

  1. MicheleLeAnn says:

    I remember thinking I was a poet for awhile.  Looking back on my poetry always leads to  embarrassment.  I’m always like “I really wrote this crap?”  

  2. Nicole Mojan says:

    Holy shit, embossed covers? You’re FANCY. That’s some high falootin’ business right there. The best I have is

  3. Nicole Mojan says:

    Holy shit, embossed covers? You’re FANCY. That’s some high falootin’ business right there. The best I have is a laminated copy of some silly limericks I wrote in fourth grade. I’m super impressed you shared those verses. I’d be more impressed if you recorded a black and white vlog of you reciting these. SEPIA THAT SHIT.

  4. Craziness Abounds says:

    Being in the business I’m in I receive a lot of poetry. People wanting me to talk to my publisher to get them published. I can tell you that I like what you wrote better than a lot of what’s out there. It’s easy to understand. So I think you should keep writing it. Especially if it fills a void for you. I know I just complimented you. Don’t faint.

  5. DysfunctionalNT says:

    Wow! I’m super impressed. I don’t think  I could even read in high school much less write a poem! I was too busy getting wasted at bonfires when I should’ve been asleep 🙂 Crap….my kids  can’t read this right?!

  6. Natalie the Singingfool says:

    You just went up a notch in my book. It’s a very prestigious book, too, so you should be grateful.

  7. bluenotebacker says:

    I always knew you were fancier than you let on. Good show, old bean. Good show.

  8. inthemomlight says:

    so weird you published this today because my mom was just asking this morning about my poetry in high school.  Mine was much more 5th grade and not so deep as yours.  It ended in tenth grade when I discovered beer and boys… shame shame.

  9. asmo says:

    just tuning in… do you have a link for these works??? very interested!!!  (I apologize, it may be posted somewhere already, but I thought I could save myself some time and ask directly… thanks!!!, Lisa

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