I Told A Lie Today To Get Free Jeans

ripped jeans

I’ve been wearing Lucky Brand jeans for over ten years.

While I’m not fashion forward I do like a decent pair of denim. Every year I pick up one or two new pairs of Lucky’s. They run about $130. I match them with solid color t-shirts.

 To clarify – I only wear one t-shirt at a time. This probably didn’t need to be clarified.

A few months back my new jeans ripped! Well, I’m not sure how “new” they were. I have a horrible concept of time. I still call them new as I probably only wore them six times. I dress in a suit at work and and at home it’s shorts and old Budweiser t-shirts.

Out of nowhere the jeans ripped hard. I’ve owned dozens of pairs of Lucky’s and this was the first time it had happened. I was pretty bummed as they were my nicest pair.

ripped jeans
Hard to tell, but the rip in on the front right side. You can actually see through to skin, which, not-ironically, is the same color as the rip.

I emailed Lucky Brand and told them I adored their jeans but must have received a bad pair. They sent back a message that said they appreciated my patronage and to email them a photo of the rip and copy of my receipt and they’d ship out a new pair. Great customer service!

I went online to my credit card statements. Going back a year I couldn’t find the purchase. I was thorough so I must have bought them over a year ago. The next step would have been to order the electronic statements for 2011 and find it there. In the email Lucky sent it was suggested that it didn’t matter when I bought the jeans.

As of this morning I had yet order the statement. I’m lazy that way.

This Thursday I’m headed to AimingLow’s NonConference and I need a new pair of jeans. I figured I’d drive to Old Orchard and buy a new pair at the Lucky Brand store. As I was walking out the door it occurred to me…

I could bring the ripped ones with me and try to return them in-store!

I don’t think I’ve ever returned a piece of clothing. Which is odd because I see women returning stuff all the time. Us guys don’t do that. Well, I can’t speak for your diva husband. I don’t do it, that’s for sure.

Since the jeans were over a year old I was smart enough to make sure they still sold them. Went online – yep, available for purchase. This was important because I was going to have to lie. I did a practice run in the car.

Without a receipt the first question is going to be, “How long ago did you purchase these?”

Ooh, now that I think about it, I actually told TWO lies! First was, “I received these as a gift.” Then, “Four months ago.”

Don’t judge me. I had already received the green light from corporate for the replacement. A couple of fibs just helps move the ball down the field  faster.

In the shop the manager gave me a look that suggested he knew I was full of shit. I silently applauded his accuracy. But I was getting ready to punch up another $130 purchase. Plus, he looked at my buy history and saw that I was the real deal.

They didn’t have my version in stock since they’re fading out that style. We found a suitable replacement. Oh, this is kind of funny. I was basically the only customer in the store at the time. I had an older woman who was waiting on me and she kept bringing me different pairs to try on. Even though I had not asked her for any pairs. All together she brought in eight different pairs on four separate trips. I found the two pairs I wanted, and plunked the credit card down for one. I’m not such a deadbeat I wouldn’t buy a new pair after a favor.

The salesbroad had even suggested a pair of skinny jeans. I tried them on for a goof. When I emerged from the dressing room she said, “Ooh… those… they do not look good on you.” Even though I wouldn’t wear skinny jeans, I did feel a pang of rejection.

So there you have it. I told a few lies and got a replacement pair of jeans. I’m not proud of what I did. I am proud, however, of achieving my desired outcome. It’s like Lance Armstrong. He still pedaled and stuff. Just had a little help getting up those hills.

11 thoughts on “I Told A Lie Today To Get Free Jeans”

  1. knightndaze says:

    So you got paid, like, $65 per lie. Nice going!  I don’t have the balls to lie like that, but I wish I did sometimes. It’d make up for all the times I wimped out of telling the truth and returning stuff.  …Come to think of it, I could just start telling the truth and returning stuff.Cheers for the laugh.

  2. knightndaze says:

    So you got paid, like, $65 per lie. Nice going!  I don’t have the balls to lie like that, but I wish I did sometimes. It’d make up for all the times I wimped out of telling the truth and returning stuff.  …Come to think of it, I could just start telling the truth and returning stuff.Cheers for the laugh.

  3. NorellLestinaShute says:

    OMG, DJ you really are going to the dark hot place when you die!! First you re-run the dishwasher for one plate and then you lie to a poor old lady about your jeans………..   You will need an extra therapist’s appointment if you keep living “on the edge”!!

  4. GingerBlogMan says:

    Well done, best I ever got a was a large box of  crisps (or chips in America) when I rang a company to complain about a stale packet I received in a shop before. We the asked for me to send them out proof I just hung up, so it was a huge surprise to find the big box of different varieties of chips on my doorstep. The most productive day of prank calling ever

  5. inthemomlight says:

    Do you think they would buy it if I took my 457 pairs of expensive pre-pregnancy jeans back and told them that they shrunk and demanded a new size??? ……….  .  . … ..  .. sorry…. I dozzed off from the sleep deprivation…. anyway, I like the Lance Armstrong metaphor and am glad you’re rocking new jeans.  You’re as bad as the swag hags at a blogging conference.

  6. Angelique says:

    How did I miss this post? hahahaha At least I am not the only one who would do this…..

  7. Eryn Melissa says:

    Thanks for this blog post! My Lucky Brand jeans ripped today and although I can’t find a product guarantee online from Lucky, your story gives me confidence to contact Lucky regarding the rip. When I say “ripped” I mean split from above back pocket to back of knee while squatting to put my dog on the floor. Mine are about 6 years old but as they are my dressy jeans I wear them infrequently. Worse yet, I’m a thin person so doing a squat or having my phone in the back pocket is the most tension ever placed on these jeans (otherwise they have room, are baggy on my flat butt and curveless hips).

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