I made a mistake at work last night.
Being the last one to leave, I was responsible for turning off the lights, setting the air conditioner, locking up, etc. This happens quite a bit – no big deal. Takes all of thirty seconds.
This morning I came in and one of my coworkers asked if I was the last one to leave. I said yes. He asked if I noticed that somebody didn’t flush the toilet last night. I had just been in the bathroom moments before and noticed that there was a little toilet paper in the bowl – someone forgot to flush. I reached over and flushed it. No big deal.
I answered, “Yeah – somebody must have blown their nose and forgot to flush. I took care of it.” He shook his head and said, “No, last night someone forgot to flush.” Meaning, they partied hard and left a half-empty Bud Ice on the coffee table when they left.
I immediately answered, “Nope – not me. There were a few agents here, so maybe one of them did that. I don’t do that here hardly ever.” Which is true. I pretty much never do. I’m on a new schedule and that time is not during 9-5. I won’t bore you with the details.
An hour later I was headed to therapy and I remembered something. I thought I did remember using the bathroom in an aggressive way that previous day. It came flooding back and out (see what I did there?). I had received a telephone call (not saying from who – might have been you) and I had to use the water closet. I’ve talked about this before, but since I was in an empty office, I ran into the restroom without interrupting the conversation.
One of the rules of talking to a live person and evacuating one’s bowels simultaneously is that you must not tip your hand. In other words, flushing is out until the call is completed. It would be rude, you see.
I must have left the Budweiser on the coffee table.
When I came back from therapy I wanted to fess up. It was an honest mistake, and I really didn’t remember that I did it when asked. But, I didn’t say anything. It was long forgotten, I’m sure. I hope.
We’re all human, I guess. Except those things that look like humans but aren’t. Cyborgs. Will they ever develop the capacity for love? Probably not. They’re all wires and stuff.