About DJ
I enjoy humor. I know everybody does, but I really enjoy it. Growing up, I didn’t watch sports. I would instead sneak down at night, turn on HBO, and watch comedians while recording their sets on cassette. Then I could play it over and over ago, and try to figure out the subtle genius that is a well-posited dick joke. I never wanted to be a comedian, nor write for a television show, or books, or films. I probably don’t have the chops for any of that, quite frankly. I just enjoy making my friends laugh.
I have been sending out funny (but true) stories to his friends for the past 15 years. In the early years, I would get into crazy scenarios (like drinking a 40oz of Olde English 800 in McDonald’s while eating dinner). But the problem with doing crazy things, is you generally upset a lot of folks. Like police and other authorities. Plus, you’re usually a giant asshole. People who are funny don’t have to do stuff like that. They’re just funny.
So, this website is simply for people who enjoy my sense of humor. I got the idea years ago in my early twenties when I was working for a beer manufacturer, touring around the country doing crazy things. I would post my road-reports and send mass emails to my friends.
During those days I was once in Chicago, on break, and at a random party where I knew just a few people. A girl was introduced and after hearing my name said, “I get your emails – I love them!” And yet, we couldn’t connect how she received them. She wasn’t on my list, nor a direct friend of anyone I knew. I know this sounds stupid, but it was like the highest compliment I could receive. I had a pretty crappy life, I guess. But, I realized that these emails were forwarded at least a few times, which says at least I was more interesting than those email forwards your grandmother sent you about God. Those sucked.
So, ten years later I’m going to try the Web 2.0 version. Enjoy.
P.S. If you would like to become instantly notified of new posts, simply click on a social media outlet at the top of the page. You can follow me via RSS, Facebook, Twitter, or Google+. I also post regularly to forums about looms, so you can find me there, with all the other cool guys who hang out and talk about looms.
P.P.S. This site is optimized for most mobile devices, so feel free to access on the train, in the car, walking about, or waiting for your wife to come back to the table from a restaurant bathroom.

Not An Ex-Girlfriend




74 comments… read them below or add one
I like how you are not afraid to be yourself! You are very funny!!
@Lifes a beach Thank you. Yes, I am funny, but I am terrified of a LOT of things. Most of all, being myself.
I love the premise of your blog, DJ. I’m convinced that laughter is one of the most healing things on earth, so anyone who makes people laugh (if it’s not too much at the expense of others) is a healer.
Sidenote: I grew up just a few miles from Paris, Virginia. When I was in college, my father once drove to the Paris, VA post office to mail a postcard that said, “Paris is lovely in the spring! Love, Dad.”
@RiverwoodWriter Thank you so much! I really appreciate your readership and the “Paris in the spring” line is classic.
Your’e mad hilarious! .. some of the stuff on here is legendary .. ” sea harvested pasta !! ”
just love it..
@JellyFish I’m… I’m not smart.
@delfinparis ;-)
I can’t decide if I wish I had found your blog sooner so I could have been reading it for longer, or be glad I’ve only just found it so I have tons to catch up on.
Stalker.
@delfinparis Sorry, msnbc.com was starting to get boring and Discover magazine thinks I should get a subscription to read the articles on their site.
Okay, now you have to do three things.
1. ”like” the FB page (up on right hand side)
2. follow me on Twitter (up at top)
3. Email your friends about how funny and handsome I am.
And, let’s not pretend that you read anything that high-brow.
@delfinparis Sure I do, where else would you get to read an article on the fascinating sex life of a tick?
within two minutes of visiting this blog, i had laughed OUT LOUD three times! that may seem like no big deal, but i usually laugh out loud an average of three times a month… THANX for cheering up this old grump.
@DesireeGuerrero Thanks, Desiree! I’m glad you’re counting all your laughs, because that’s totally normal.
Hahahaha…totally.
Good thing you started following me on Twitter. It forced me to find your blog. And thus stalk, er, follow you as well. I have to go though… I’ve got lots to catch up on!
@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic Thanks for reading! Now, as far as the stalking thing goes, you can start with presents.
@delfinparis Consider it done!
@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic
A soul sister!!
Okay Paris. Finally viewing your non-iPhone version and it’s fab–who is your designer? Also, I’m glad you made it out of Florida alive.
Thanks for the Twitter love, from a new “80 year old” blogger.
@Corporate Wife I got SOOOOOOO excited thinking that you were really were an 80 year old blogger with an iPhone. And then I just realized it was. Well… you.
You kind of rock. Thanks for following me on Twitter. For years I’ve said I’m going to finally launch my own humor blog. Your site inspires me to make this happen. If you don’t mind, I’ll post a link once the thing is up and running.
@Loves Moose When’s the new site going live? Don’t deprive us!
A quirky witty blog AND you’re not a mom!!!!!! Now that’s inspiring. Thanks for that.
@ishclock Thanks for the compliment. And, truth be told, I really am a mom from Toledo.
@delfinparis I KNEW IT!!!
I can’t tell you how much I LOVE your blog. Laughter keeps my chaotic life manageable. I am pretty sure I just busted my spleen laughing at Everyone Poops post. My kids and the man on the couch (aka my husband ) keep looking at me like O_O ……thanks for the laughs love from Georgia
@shy_one96 Thank you for the nice compliments. I’m glad your favorite story is my most humiliating one. Try to dig a little deeper here and read something where I rock. :)
@delfinparis Awwww sunshine You ROCK because you take each moment in your life good or bad and make it a journey. You could write about brushing your teeth and I would enjoy it.
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling trough you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
I found you quite by accident, but good grief man you are funny! Actually surfing for network marketing ideas and found myself stopping here and forgot what I was doing (which is not actaully all that unusual for me really).
You are one of my new favs (said in a most non-stalker like fashion) and if I could just master this whole Twitter thing I will follow you. If not… well, I suppose I suppose I will just hop from blog to blog leaving comments like this in my wake…. Laughing at you in So. California! Mrs. Lowrey
@DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey There’s another Lowrey with a disgusting eyepatch. She lost it in a lawn dart accident. It’s really foul. Steer clear of her.
@tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey I know <sigh> twin sister… stopped taking her meds. Really trying to be mad here. Would you kindly stop being funny?
@@mrs_lowrey @mrslowrey No promises.
@@mrs_lowrey @mrslowrey No promises.
You’re entertaining.
Which is great, as I’d hate for you to have added me on Twitter and then me have added you back only to realize you’re not that funny and now I’m stuck with the weird social media etiquette situation of “Do I delete him or not?” BUT THANKFULLY, because you are funny, I don’t have to worry about that. So thanks for bringing the rad, and not sucking.
@Muse Go ahead and delete me. I dare you! C’mon! Chicken? (seriously, don’t. I’m way too insecure.)
You are a hoot. I’m in love with you already. That is hyperbole. Please don’t send Jessica to beat me up.
@RASJacobson1 She’s already on her way.
Paris
You have the gift of being funny and please do not write back that I am a stalker. I am way too busy getting stalkers away from me to stalk anyone else. So here is to making others laugh and being laughed at, well that didn’t come out quite right but I am sure you get the compliment in there…feel free to follow my witty rants on Twitter at #TDDowell
Cheers.
Stalking you… and reading too <sigh> Like the new look.
@mrslowrey Thanks season-salt!!! (so dumb, but I had to)
@tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey that was the least funny thing you’ve ever said. Do-over.
Like the new look!
Thanks Angelino!
Just ran across your blog and enjoyed it so far! I love the layout..and you definitely had me about the Paris thing.. I completely thought it was a sort of Paris memoir or something. Neat last name, btw!
) Looking forward to checking out the rest of your stuff!
)
@MusingsinRed Thanks, Red! Great name, by the way. Your parents must have done some acid.
@tfpHumorBlog wow… hahaha
No, not quite as exciting as that. Mainly just red due to an intense obsession with that color.
Beer manufacturing?
Sorry, still stuck on that.
@RitikaUpadhyay Did I use the wrong phrasing? I’m a moron, remember.
Hey… Wanted to thank you for your plug on guest submissions aiming low some time back. Got my first submission published today. Sort have been following you, watching what you do here, your networking fforts,metc. You are successful at it. Kinda creepy? Nah. Just watching someone who knows what they are doing… And wanted to say thanks. So.. Thanks!!
@@mrs_lowrey Sorry for the late reply! I’m glad you got one published at AimingLow – are you going to the noncon in Georgia? Please say yes so we can hang out!!
@tfpHumorBlog I intended to go, but have a conflict on that date. was really looking forward to attending. You speaking? Any event, thank you for helping the writing community. It is a cool thing you do and nice to see. I won’t tell anyone you are a nice guy. Promise’.
@tfpHumorBlog Was intending to go and looking forward to it, but have a scheduling conflict at that time. You speaking? Any event, thanks for all you do for the writing community. It’s cool to see. Don’t worry. Won’t tell anyone you are really a nice guy. I promise!
blog.shelleylowrey.com
@@mrs_lowrey Forgive my ignorance but did we meet at the AimingLow NonCon?
@tfpHumorBlog @@mrs_lowrey so many ways to answer this! 1) you don’t remember that wild night with the spaghetti sauce and pad Thai noodles?!?!” 2) “I tried to introduce myself but your throng of 2′ groupies kept biting my ankles to keep me away!” Or 3) regretfully the Noncon was the same weekend as my cruise to Mexico. I was really bummed I couldn’t go. You really should meet me cuz Dude! I am freaking funny! I am kinda cute too but that isn’t really important.
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
Your blog is thought provoking. Thanks for twitter follow.
@virginiallorca Thought provoking? Congratulations on being the only person ever to write that about me!
@tfpHumorBlog @virginiallorca OMG. My daughter has that. Keep it secret. She is so beautiful, I consider it the divine imperfection.
That’s a way better story than why I started a blog. I jealousy like you. Don’t worry that’s better than not liking you at all
.
@becca3416 I love that you jealousy like me. You’re right to feel this way.
Well, your bio definitely has caught my interest! LOL! I accept your request to follow me on Twitter, and vice versa!
@LeenieEi I accept your request to accept my request!
You had me at “My last name is Paris.” Funny blog and I can’t wait to read more!
@EntertheDragans Thank you!
Cheers. I am friends with Bill, too.
@jessica2 So you had a problem sitting with tough feelings, too! They should just change the name of it to, “Forget About the Higher Power Thing – Just Learn How to Cope With Fear, Sadness, Anger, and Shame Without Running Away!” – that title is a little long though. Ha.
@tfpHumorBlog @jessica2 I still have a problem with sitting. And with feelings, too. Good thing for me there is humor reflected in every tragic event. Good for you, too. I love your graphic accounts. Honesty is important and it’s funny as hell. Cheers!
Believe it or not, you are the second guy I know whose last name is Paris. My friend who shares the same last name with you lives in Australia. He is just as funny as you
You got genuine going on. That, I like.
you write with such heart… good things to you and yours!