About DJ

I enjoy humor.  I know everybody does, but I really enjoy it.  Growing up, I didn’t watch sports.  I would instead sneak down at night, turn on HBO, and watch comedians while recording their sets on cassette.   Then I could play it over and over ago, and try to figure out the subtle genius that is a well-posited dick joke.  I never wanted to be a comedian, nor write for a television show, or books, or films.  I probably don’t have the chops for any of that, quite frankly.  I just enjoy making my friends laugh.

I have been sending out funny (but true) stories to his friends for the past 15 years.  In the early years, I would get into crazy scenarios (like drinking a 40oz of Olde English 800 in McDonald’s while eating dinner).  But the problem with doing crazy things, is you generally upset a lot of folks.  Like police and other authorities.  Plus, you’re usually a giant asshole.  People who are funny don’t have to do stuff like that.  They’re just funny.

So, this website is simply for people who enjoy my sense of humor.  I got the idea years ago in my early twenties when I was working for a beer manufacturer, touring around the country doing crazy things.  I would post my road-reports and send mass emails to my friends.

During those days I was once in Chicago, on break, and at a random party where I knew just a few people.  A girl was introduced and after hearing my name said, “I get your emails – I love them!”  And yet, we couldn’t connect how she received them.  She wasn’t on my list, nor a direct friend of anyone I knew.  I know this sounds stupid, but it was like the highest compliment I could receive.  I had a pretty crappy life, I guess.  But, I realized that these emails were forwarded at least a few times, which says at least I was more interesting than those email forwards your grandmother sent you about God.  Those sucked.

So, ten years later I’m going to try the Web 2.0 version. Enjoy.

P.S.  If you would like to become instantly notified of new posts, simply click on a social media outlet at the top of the page. You can follow me via RSS, Facebook, Twitter, or Google+.  I also post regularly to forums about looms, so you can find me there, with all the other cool guys who hang out and talk about looms.

P.P.S.  This site is optimized for most mobile devices, so feel free to access on the train, in the car, walking about, or waiting for your wife to come back to the table from a restaurant bathroom.

D.J. and Bucky

Not An Ex-Girlfriend

95 comments… read them below or add one

Lifes a beach January 26, 2012 at 11:20 pm

I like how you are not afraid to be yourself! You are very funny!! :)

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D.J. Paris January 27, 2012 at 9:43 pm

@Lifes a beach Thank you. Yes, I am funny, but I am terrified of a LOT of things. Most of all, being myself. :)

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RiverwoodWriter February 1, 2012 at 9:24 am

I love the premise of your blog, DJ. I’m convinced that laughter is one of the most healing things on earth, so anyone who makes people laugh (if it’s not too much at the expense of others) is a healer.

Sidenote: I grew up just a few miles from Paris, Virginia. When I was in college, my father once drove to the Paris, VA post office to mail a postcard that said, “Paris is lovely in the spring! Love, Dad.”

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D.J. Paris February 1, 2012 at 10:04 am

@RiverwoodWriter Thank you so much! I really appreciate your readership and the “Paris in the spring” line is classic.

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JellyFish March 9, 2012 at 8:53 am

Your’e mad hilarious!  .. some of the stuff on here is legendary .. ” sea  harvested pasta !! ”
just love it..
 

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D.J. Paris March 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

 @JellyFish  I’m…  I’m not smart.

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JellyFish March 12, 2012 at 2:06 am

 @delfinparis ;-) 
 

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Ahmed March 24, 2014 at 8:57 am

I understand ,thank you please contact me.

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Vanessa March 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I can’t decide if I wish I had found your blog sooner so I could have been reading it for longer, or be glad I’ve only just found it so I have tons to catch up on.

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D.J. Paris March 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Stalker.

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Vanessa March 11, 2012 at 6:19 pm

 @delfinparis Sorry, msnbc.com was starting to get boring and Discover magazine thinks I should get a subscription to read the articles on their site.

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D.J. Paris March 11, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Okay, now you have to do three things.
1.  “like” the FB page (up on right hand side)
2.  follow me on Twitter (up at top)
3.  Email your friends about how funny and handsome I am.

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D.J. Paris March 12, 2012 at 9:32 am

And, let’s not pretend that you read anything that high-brow.

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Vanessa March 12, 2012 at 4:33 pm

 @delfinparis Sure I do, where else would you get to read an article on the fascinating sex life of a tick?

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DesireeGuerrero March 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm

within two minutes of visiting this blog, i had laughed OUT LOUD three times!  that may seem like no big deal, but i usually laugh out loud an average of three times a month… THANX for cheering up this old grump.

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D.J. Paris April 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm

 @DesireeGuerrero  Thanks, Desiree!  I’m glad you’re counting all your laughs, because that’s totally normal.

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Alex February 7, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Hahahaha…totally.

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CrazyTragicAlmostMagic March 28, 2012 at 9:03 am

Good thing you started following me on Twitter. It forced me to find your blog. And thus stalk, er, follow you as well. I have to go though… I’ve got lots to catch up on!

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D.J. Paris March 28, 2012 at 9:17 am

 @CrazyTragicAlmostMagic Thanks for reading!  Now, as far as the stalking thing goes, you can start with presents.

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CrazyTragicAlmostMagic March 28, 2012 at 9:32 am

@delfinparis Consider it done!

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DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey May 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic
A soul sister!!

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Corporate Wife April 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Okay Paris.  Finally viewing your non-iPhone version and it’s fab–who is your designer?  Also, I’m glad you made it out of Florida alive.
 
Thanks for the Twitter love, from a new “80 year old” blogger.

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D.J. Paris April 10, 2012 at 11:14 pm

 @Corporate Wife I got SOOOOOOO excited thinking that you were really were an 80 year old blogger with an iPhone.  And then I just realized it was.  Well… you.

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Loves Moose April 11, 2012 at 11:39 am

You kind of rock. Thanks for following me on Twitter. For years I’ve said I’m going to finally launch my own humor blog. Your site inspires me to make this happen. If you don’t mind, I’ll post a link once the thing is up and running.

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D.J. Paris June 30, 2012 at 11:53 pm

 @Loves Moose When’s the new site going live?  Don’t deprive us!

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ishclock April 17, 2012 at 10:10 pm

A quirky witty blog AND you’re not a mom!!!!!! Now that’s inspiring. Thanks for that.

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D.J. Paris April 17, 2012 at 11:08 pm

 @ishclock Thanks for the compliment.  And, truth be told, I really am a mom from Toledo.

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beingbeckyp May 25, 2012 at 7:18 pm

 @delfinparis I KNEW IT!!!

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shy_one96 April 22, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I can’t tell you how much I LOVE your blog. Laughter keeps my chaotic life manageable. I am pretty sure I just busted my spleen laughing at Everyone Poops post. My kids and the man on the couch (aka my husband ) keep looking at me like O_O ……thanks for the laughs love from Georgia 

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D.J. Paris April 22, 2012 at 8:12 pm

 @shy_one96  Thank you for the nice compliments.  I’m glad your favorite story is my most humiliating one.  Try to dig a little deeper here and read something where I rock.  :)

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shy_one96 April 22, 2012 at 9:01 pm

 @delfinparis Awwww sunshine You ROCK because you take each moment in your life good or bad and make it a journey. You could write about brushing your teeth and I would enjoy it. 

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KylieWalters April 28, 2012 at 6:46 am

Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling trough you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair…….. 

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KylieWalters April 28, 2012 at 6:51 am

Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair…….. 

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DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey May 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I found you quite by accident, but good grief man you are funny! Actually surfing for network marketing ideas and found myself stopping here and forgot what I was doing (which is not actaully all that unusual for me really).

You are one of my new favs (said in a most non-stalker like fashion) and if I could just master this whole Twitter thing I will follow you. If not… well, I suppose I suppose I will just hop from blog to blog leaving comments like this in my wake…. Laughing at you in So. California! Mrs. Lowrey

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm

 @DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey There’s another Lowrey with a disgusting eyepatch.  She lost it in a lawn dart accident.  It’s really foul.  Steer clear of her.

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@mrs_lowrey June 24, 2012 at 5:41 pm

 @tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey I know <sigh> twin sister…  stopped taking her meds.  Really trying to be mad here.  Would you kindly stop being funny?

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

 @@mrs_lowrey  @mrslowrey No promises.

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

 @@mrs_lowrey  @mrslowrey No promises.

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Muse May 16, 2012 at 11:25 pm

You’re entertaining. :) Which is great, as I’d hate for you to have added me on Twitter and then me have added you back only to realize you’re not that funny and now I’m stuck with the weird social media etiquette situation of “Do I delete him or not?” BUT THANKFULLY, because you are funny, I don’t have to worry about that. So thanks for bringing the rad, and not sucking. 

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

 @Muse Go ahead and delete me.  I dare you!  C’mon!  Chicken?  (seriously, don’t.  I’m way too insecure.)

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RASJacobson1 June 7, 2012 at 9:41 am

You are a hoot. I’m in love with you already. That is hyperbole. Please don’t send Jessica to beat me up.

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

 @RASJacobson1 She’s already on her way.

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Tamara June 9, 2012 at 12:25 am

Paris
You have the gift of being funny and please do not write back that I am a stalker. I am way too busy getting stalkers away from me to stalk anyone else. So here is to making others laugh and being laughed at, well that didn’t come out quite right but I am sure you get the compliment in there…feel free to follow my witty rants on Twitter at #TDDowell
Cheers.

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mrslowrey June 14, 2012 at 12:53 am

Stalking you… and reading too <sigh>  Like the new look.
 

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

 @mrslowrey Thanks season-salt!!!  (so dumb, but I had to)

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@mrs_lowrey June 24, 2012 at 5:43 pm

 @tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey  that was the least funny thing you’ve ever said.  Do-over.
 

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Ang June 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Like the new look!

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D.J. Paris June 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Thanks Angelino!

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MusingsinRed July 8, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Just ran across your blog and enjoyed it so far! I love the layout..and you definitely had me about the Paris thing.. I completely thought it was a sort of Paris memoir or something. Neat last name, btw! :))  Looking forward to checking out the rest of your stuff! :))

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D.J. Paris July 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

 @MusingsinRed Thanks, Red!  Great name, by the way.  Your parents must have done some acid.

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MusingsinRed July 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

 @tfpHumorBlog wow… hahaha :) No, not quite as exciting as that. Mainly just red due to an intense obsession with that color. ;)

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RitikaUpadhyay July 11, 2012 at 3:26 am

Beer manufacturing?
Sorry, still stuck on that.

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D.J. Paris July 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

 @RitikaUpadhyay Did I use the wrong phrasing?  I’m a moron, remember.

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@mrs_lowrey August 16, 2012 at 2:35 am

Hey… Wanted to thank you for your plug on guest submissions aiming low some time back. Got my first submission published today. Sort have been following you, watching what you do here, your networking fforts,metc. You are successful at it. Kinda creepy? Nah. Just watching someone who knows what they are doing… And wanted to say thanks. So.. Thanks!!

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D.J. Paris September 9, 2012 at 1:46 pm

 @@mrs_lowrey Sorry for the late reply! I’m glad you got one published at AimingLow – are you going to the noncon in Georgia? Please say yes so we can hang out!!

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@mrs_lowrey September 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

@tfpHumorBlog I intended to go, but have a conflict on that date. was really looking forward to attending. You speaking? Any event, thank you for helping the writing community. It is a cool thing you do and nice to see. I won’t tell anyone you are a nice guy. Promise’.

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@mrs_lowrey September 9, 2012 at 5:26 pm

@tfpHumorBlog Was intending to go and looking forward to it, but have a scheduling conflict at that time. You speaking? Any event, thanks for all you do for the writing community. It’s cool to see. Don’t worry. Won’t tell anyone you are really a nice guy. I promise!

blog.shelleylowrey.com

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

@@mrs_lowrey  Forgive my ignorance but did we meet at the AimingLow NonCon?

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@mrs_lowrey November 19, 2012 at 10:37 am

@tfpHumorBlog @@mrs_lowrey so many ways to answer this! 1) you don’t remember that wild night with the spaghetti sauce and pad Thai noodles?!?!” 2) “I tried to introduce myself but your throng of 2′ groupies kept biting my ankles to keep me away!” Or 3) regretfully the Noncon was the same weekend as my cruise to Mexico. I was really bummed I couldn’t go. You really should meet me cuz Dude! I am freaking funny! I am kinda cute too but that isn’t really important.

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D.J. Paris September 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair…….. 

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virginiallorca September 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Your blog is thought provoking.  Thanks for twitter follow.

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

@virginiallorca Thought provoking? Congratulations on being the only person ever to write that about me!

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virginiallorca November 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

@tfpHumorBlog  @virginiallorca OMG.  My daughter has that.  Keep it secret.  She is so beautiful, I consider it the divine imperfection.

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becca3416 October 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

That’s a way better story than why I started a blog. I jealousy like you. Don’t worry that’s better than not liking you at all :).

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

@becca3416 I love that you jealousy like me. You’re right to feel this way.

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LeenieEi October 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Well, your bio definitely has caught my interest!  LOL! I accept your request to follow me on Twitter, and vice versa! :)

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:07 am

@LeenieEi I accept your request to accept my request!

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EntertheDragans November 13, 2012 at 5:51 pm

You had me at “My last name is Paris.”  Funny blog and I can’t wait to read more!

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:07 am

@EntertheDragans Thank you!

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jessica2 November 17, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Cheers. I am friends with Bill, too.

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D.J. Paris November 18, 2012 at 12:07 am

@jessica2 So you had a problem sitting with tough feelings, too! They should just change the name of it to, “Forget About the Higher Power Thing – Just Learn How to Cope With Fear, Sadness, Anger, and Shame Without Running Away!” – that title is a little long though. Ha.

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jessica2 November 18, 2012 at 1:17 am

@tfpHumorBlog  @jessica2 I still have a problem with sitting. And with feelings, too. Good thing for me there is humor reflected in every tragic event. Good for you, too. I love your graphic accounts. Honesty is important and it’s funny as hell. Cheers!

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Shirley Maya Tan March 22, 2013 at 9:10 am

Believe it or not, you are the second guy I know whose last name is Paris. My friend who shares the same last name with you lives in Australia. He is just as funny as you :)

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:46 pm

NOBODY IS AS FUNNY AS ME! Take it back, Shirley!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Patt Pickett June 2, 2013 at 9:55 pm

You got genuine going on. That, I like.

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 3:08 pm

Sometimes… Ha!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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nightbird June 3, 2013 at 1:54 am

you write with such heart… good things to you and yours!

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:44 pm

Do I write with heart? I try, I guess. I mostly write with crotch. :)
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Ian June 19, 2013 at 11:39 am

Looking forward to catching up with your site – I like your style.

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:43 pm

Thanks, Ian – I appreciate your readership!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Andrea Orcutt July 24, 2013 at 2:41 am

Thanks for following me on Twitter and introducing yourself. Your blog is proving to be highly amusing. This couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. I have just started my own blog. I’ve been on Twitter for awhile but I’ve never really used much until recently. I’m going through my own 2.0 . You are very funny just being you.

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Thanks Andrea!

Sorry it’s been so long since I replied. I appreciate your readership!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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IntrovertlyBubbly August 12, 2013 at 8:29 am

Hahaha me the fool…you got me…Nice last name Paris…

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:41 pm

Thanks! The broad that marries me is going to be extremely lucky!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Tammy in PDX September 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm

So glad you started following me on Twitter, because now I know about you…and I love finding someone else who openly shares their bizarre life and perspective. Can’t wait to read more!

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Thanks Tammy – sorry it took me six months to reply!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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mike November 8, 2013 at 9:49 pm

You used to work for a beer manufacturer, that is good enough for me.

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:41 pm

ha – that’s true. I used to be cool.
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Crystal January 16, 2014 at 8:36 pm

The homework for my Communications class today was to find an inappropriate blog. A blog where someone is writing stuff that would get them fired, in trouble, or humiliated if their boss found out. I stumbled across this blog and, while I don’t know if it fits the criteria of what my instructor is looking for, I found myself sitting here for more than an hour reading your stories. Now, I just have to follow your blog cause it’s so funny and interesting….damn it! LOL Great job! =)
Crystal recently posted…Why Follow Me? Why Not?

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D.J. Paris January 17, 2014 at 9:15 am

Ha! Thanks. So far I haven’t been fired! But I don’t really write stuff that’s controversial. Mostly just poop jokes. :) Thank for being a new reader!
D.J. Paris recently posted…I Sometimes Publish Crap – A Confession

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Jacqui January 18, 2014 at 6:22 pm

I think you might just have made me get off my ass and write and post more this year so thanks , and Paris… I used to be called Portugal!
Writers of the world unite!

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D.J. Paris January 20, 2014 at 1:39 pm

Wow! I inspired someone and it wasn’t to drink? Nice, Portugal!
D.J. Paris recently posted…Let’s Assess My Production Today (Hint – It’s Disappointing)

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Parkes1213 January 20, 2014 at 7:20 pm

It’s amazing how the simplest things can change your life, like sending emails to a few friends. Glad you’re doing something you love.

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D.J. Paris January 21, 2014 at 12:45 pm

Yeah, doing a few simple things a day that make you feel good are the highlights of my day.
D.J. Paris recently posted…I Just Responded to 200 Blog Comments

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Helen Boulos April 4, 2014 at 7:07 pm

Not to sound insulting, but I had no idea men could be so funny. Truly hilarious website. Finding it has been the highlight of my week. (Although my week has involved way too little sleep and caring for other people’s kids… which…well, I can barely handle my three kids, three cats and two dogs so)? But really, great stuff.

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