About D.J.

D.J. and Bucky

I enjoy humor.   I know everybody does, but I really enjoy it.   Growing up, I didn’t watch sports.   I would instead sneak down at night, turn on HBO, and watch comedians while recording their sets on cassette.   Then I could play it over and over ago, and try to figure out the subtle genius that is a well-posited dick joke.   I never wanted to be a comedian, nor write for a television show, or books, or films.   I probably don’t have the chops for any of that, quite frankly.   I just enjoy making my friends laugh.

I have been sending out funny (but true) stories to his friends for the past 15 years.   In the early years, I would get into crazy scenarios (like drinking a 40oz of Olde English 800 in McDonald’s while eating dinner).   But the problem with doing crazy things, is you generally upset a lot of folks.   Like police and other authorities.   Plus, you’re usually a giant asshole.   People who are funny don’t have to do stuff like that.   They’re just funny.

So, this website is simply for people who enjoy my sense of humor.   I got the idea years ago in my early twenties when I was working for a beer manufacturer, touring around the country doing crazy things.   I would post my road-reports and send mass emails to my friends.

During those days I was once in Chicago, on break, and at a random party where I knew just a few people.   A girl was introduced and after hearing my name said, “I get your emails – I love them!”   And yet, we couldn’t connect how she received them.   She wasn’t on my list, nor a direct friend of anyone I knew.   I know this sounds stupid, but it was like the highest compliment I could receive.   I had a pretty crappy life, I guess.   But, I realized that these emails were forwarded at least a few times, which says at least I was more interesting than those email forwards your grandmother sent you about God.   Those sucked.

So, ten years later I’m going to try the Web 2.0 version. Enjoy.

P.S.   If you would like to become instantly notified of new posts, simply click on a social media outlet at the top of the page. You can follow me via RSS, Facebook, Twitter, or Google+.   I also post regularly to forums about looms, so you can find me there, with all the other cool guys who hang out and talk about looms.

P.P.S.   This site is optimized for most mobile devices, so feel free to access on the train, in the car, walking about, or waiting for your wife to come back to the table from a restaurant bathroom.

D.J. and Bucky

Not An Ex-Girlfriend

Comments 101

  1. RiverwoodWriter

    I love the premise of your blog, DJ. I’m convinced that laughter is one of the most healing things on earth, so anyone who makes people laugh (if it’s not too much at the expense of others) is a healer.

    Sidenote: I grew up just a few miles from Paris, Virginia. When I was in college, my father once drove to the Paris, VA post office to mail a postcard that said, “Paris is lovely in the spring! Love, Dad.”

  2. JellyFish

    Your’e mad hilarious!  .. some of the stuff on here is legendary .. ” sea  harvested pasta !! ”
    just love it..

  3. Vanessa

    I can’t decide if I wish I had found your blog sooner so I could have been reading it for longer, or be glad I’ve only just found it so I have tons to catch up on.

      1. Vanessa

         @delfinparis Sorry, msnbc.com was starting to get boring and Discover magazine thinks I should get a subscription to read the articles on their site.

        1. D.J. Paris

          Okay, now you have to do three things.
          1.  “like” the FB page (up on right hand side)
          2.  follow me on Twitter (up at top)
          3.  Email your friends about how funny and handsome I am.

        2. Vanessa

           @delfinparis Sure I do, where else would you get to read an article on the fascinating sex life of a tick?

  4. DesireeGuerrero

    within two minutes of visiting this blog, i had laughed OUT LOUD three times!  that may seem like no big deal, but i usually laugh out loud an average of three times a month… THANX for cheering up this old grump.

  5. CrazyTragicAlmostMagic

    Good thing you started following me on Twitter. It forced me to find your blog. And thus stalk, er, follow you as well. I have to go though… I’ve got lots to catch up on!

  6. Corporate Wife

    Okay Paris.   Finally viewing your non-iPhone version and it’s fab–who is your designer?   Also, I’m glad you made it out of Florida alive.
    Thanks for the Twitter love, from a new “80 year old” blogger.

    1. D.J. Paris

       @Corporate Wife  I got SOOOOOOO excited thinking that you were really were an 80 year old blogger with an iPhone.  And then I just realized it was.  Well… you.

  7. Loves Moose

    You kind of rock. Thanks for following me on Twitter. For years I’ve said I’m going to finally launch my own humor blog. Your site inspires me to make this happen. If you don’t mind, I’ll post a link once the thing is up and running.

  8. shy_one96

    I can’t tell you how much I LOVE your blog. Laughter keeps my chaotic life  manageable. I am pretty sure I just busted my spleen laughing at Everyone Poops post. My kids and the man on the couch (aka my husband ) keep looking at me like O_O ……thanks for the laughs love from Georgia  

    1. D.J. Paris

       @shy_one96   Thank you for the nice compliments.  I’m glad your favorite story is my most humiliating one.  Try to dig a little deeper here and read something where I rock.   :)

      1. shy_one96

         @delfinparis  Awwww sunshine You ROCK because you take each moment in your life good or bad and make it a journey. You could write about brushing your  teeth  and I would enjoy it.  

  9. KylieWalters

    Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling trough you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair……..  

  10. KylieWalters

    Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair……..  

  11. DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey

    I found you quite by accident, but good grief man you are funny! Actually surfing for network marketing ideas and found myself stopping here and forgot what I was doing (which is not actaully all that unusual for me really).

    You are one of my new favs (said in a most non-stalker like fashion) and if I could just master this whole Twitter thing I will follow you. If not… well, I suppose I suppose I will just hop from blog to blog leaving comments like this in my wake…. Laughing at you in So. California! Mrs. Lowrey

    1. D.J. Paris

       @DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey  There’s another Lowrey with a disgusting eyepatch.  She lost it in a lawn dart accident.  It’s really foul.  Steer clear of her.

      1. @mrs_lowrey

         @tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey  I know <sigh> twin sister…   stopped taking her meds.   Really trying to be mad here.   Would you kindly stop being funny?

  12. Muse

    You’re entertaining. :) Which is great, as I’d hate for you to have added me on Twitter and then me have added you back only to realize you’re not that funny and now I’m stuck with the weird social media etiquette situation of “Do I delete him or not?” BUT THANKFULLY, because you are funny, I don’t have to worry about that. So thanks for bringing the rad, and not sucking.  

  13. RASJacobson1

    You are a hoot. I’m in love with you already. That is hyperbole. Please don’t send Jessica to beat me up.

  14. Tamara

    You have the gift of being funny and please do not write back that I am a stalker. I am way too busy getting stalkers away from me to stalk anyone else. So here is to making others laugh and being laughed at, well that didn’t come out quite right but I am sure you get the compliment in there…feel free to follow my witty rants on Twitter at #TDDowell

  15. MusingsinRed

    Just ran across your blog and enjoyed it so far! I love the layout..and you definitely had me about the Paris thing.. I completely thought it was a sort of Paris memoir or something. Neat last name, btw! :))   Looking forward to checking out the rest of your stuff! :))

      1. MusingsinRed

         @tfpHumorBlog wow… hahaha :) No, not quite as exciting as that. Mainly just red due to an intense obsession with that color. 😉

  16. @mrs_lowrey

    Hey… Wanted to thank you for your plug on guest submissions aiming low some time back. Got my first submission published today. Sort have been following you, watching what you do here, your networking fforts,metc. You are successful at it. Kinda creepy? Nah. Just watching someone who knows what they are doing… And wanted to say thanks. So.. Thanks!!

    1. D.J. Paris

       @@mrs_lowrey  Sorry for the late reply! I’m glad you got one published at AimingLow – are you going to the noncon in Georgia? Please say yes so we can hang out!!

      1. @mrs_lowrey

        @tfpHumorBlog I intended to go, but have a conflict on that date. was really looking forward to attending. You speaking? Any event, thank you for helping the writing community. It is a cool thing you do and nice to see. I won’t tell anyone you are a nice guy. Promise’.

      2. @mrs_lowrey

        @tfpHumorBlog Was intending to go and looking forward to it, but have a scheduling conflict at that time. You speaking? Any event, thanks for all you do for the writing community. It’s cool to see. Don’t worry. Won’t tell anyone you are really a nice guy. I promise!


      3. @mrs_lowrey

        @tfpHumorBlog @@mrs_lowrey so many ways to answer this! 1) you don’t remember that wild night with the spaghetti sauce and pad Thai noodles?!?!” 2) “I tried to introduce myself but your throng of 2′ groupies kept biting my ankles to keep me away!” Or 3) regretfully the Noncon was the same weekend as my cruise to Mexico. I was really bummed I couldn’t go. You really should meet me cuz Dude! I am freaking funny! I am kinda cute too but that isn’t really important.

  17. D.J. Paris

    Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!!  Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!!  You really do have great hair……..  

      1. virginiallorca

        @tfpHumorBlog    @virginiallorca  OMG.  My daughter has that.  Keep it secret.  She is so beautiful, I consider it the divine imperfection.

  18. LeenieEi

    Well, your bio definitely has caught my interest!   LOL! I accept your request to follow me on Twitter, and vice versa! :)

    1. D.J. Paris

      @jessica2  So you had a problem sitting with tough feelings, too! They should just change the name of it to, “Forget About the Higher Power Thing – Just Learn How to Cope With Fear, Sadness, Anger, and Shame Without Running Away!” – that title is a little long though. Ha.

      1. jessica2

        @tfpHumorBlog    @jessica2 I still have a problem with sitting. And with feelings, too. Good thing for me there is humor reflected in every tragic event. Good for you, too. I love your graphic accounts. Honesty is important and it’s funny as hell. Cheers!

  19. Shirley Maya Tan

    Believe it or not, you are the second guy I know whose last name is Paris. My friend who shares the same last name with you lives in Australia. He is just as funny as you :)

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  20. Andrea Orcutt

    Thanks for following me on Twitter and introducing yourself. Your blog is proving to be highly amusing. This couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. I have just started my own blog. I’ve been on Twitter for awhile but I’ve never really used much until recently. I’m going through my own 2.0 . You are very funny just being you.

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  21. Tammy in PDX

    So glad you started following me on Twitter, because now I know about you…and I love finding someone else who openly shares their bizarre life and perspective. Can’t wait to read more!

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  22. Crystal

    The homework for my Communications class today was to find an inappropriate blog. A blog where someone is writing stuff that would get them fired, in trouble, or humiliated if their boss found out. I stumbled across this blog and, while I don’t know if it fits the criteria of what my instructor is looking for, I found myself sitting here for more than an hour reading your stories. Now, I just have to follow your blog cause it’s so funny and interesting….damn it! LOL Great job! =)
    Crystal recently posted…Why Follow Me? Why Not?

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  23. Jacqui

    I think you might just have made me get off my ass and write and post more this year so thanks , and Paris… I used to be called Portugal!
    Writers of the world unite!

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  24. Parkes1213

    It’s amazing how the simplest things can change your life, like sending emails to a few friends. Glad you’re doing something you love.

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  25. Helen Boulos

    Not to sound insulting, but I had no idea men could be so funny. Truly hilarious website. Finding it has been the highlight of my week. (Although my week has involved way too little sleep and caring for other people’s kids… which…well, I can barely handle my three kids, three cats and two dogs so)? But really, great stuff.

  26. Ankita

    You say that your life has been crappy. And then again you say that the horse is not an ex-girlfriend. Sir, I assure you, if you have never had a horse as a girlfriend, you have not had a crappy life (just ask sexually frustrated WWII soldiers). So please clarify, sir : which of the two is a lie? Or have you had a different equine girlfriend, just not this specimen? If so, I would be eternally grateful to you if you describe your shenanigans with said ex in detail. You see, my ancestors were WWII soldiers, and the horse-lovin’ genes have stood the test(es) of time.
    Despite all the crap.
    Ankita recently posted…Poetry Done Quick

  27. LPMarie

    Dear DJ: Thanks for following me on Twitter. I have a dilemma and need your advice. I follow Ohio politics trying to educate folks here about the other 49, but it’s getting harder to keep a straight face. I think the comedy gods are smiling upon me. Would you run with it ? Your friend, LP.

  28. ISmakaYouFace

    Thanks for the follow on Twitter, I probably would have never found this site otherwise.

    Also, what if I’m in the bathroom taking an epic, stick to your ass cheeks drinkers dump, can I access your site on my mobile device then? Or would that just be creepy?

  29. Scout Robb

    I found you on Twitter; a mutual following deal. And, I’m so glad! Your humor is crazy, thought-provoking, sidesplitting, crude and flipping hilarious.
    Don’t change a thing!

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